But creator Marc Cherry, who is himself openly gay, quickly squelched those fancies in subsequent episodes, when Andrew revealed himself to be possibly bisexual and most definitely wicked. Recently Cherry went so far as to describe Andrew as a “narcissistic sociopath” to USA Today, and went on to declare that “What he'll do in the fall to get back at his mother is so unpleasant.”

That means that Andrew is surely not going to follow the Dawson’s Creek or Once and Again method of teen angst in coming out. It seems, instead, Andrew’s about to take a page from the playbooks of evil bisexual vixens everywhere: he’s going to relish his sexual freedom and plot how he can use it to his best advantage.

Over 23 million viewers tuned in to the April 17 episode, “Live Alone & Like It,” where Andrew revealed his dastardly plans for his mother, undoubtedly spurred on by a dinner that his mother Bree (Marcia Cross) arranges with the conservative Reverend Sikes (Dakin Matthews). At that dinner, Reverend Sikes assures Andrew that he understands what it’s like to be a teenager, that “It’s a very confusing time.”

Andrew responds easily, “I’m not confused. I know exactly who I am.” But his self-assurance and apparent gay pride is not necessarily a sign of goodness. Later on, Bree pleads with her son to talk with Reverend Sikes because “If you don’t change who you are you won’t go to heaven.” Bree’s religious conservatism prevents her from seeing the gleam in Andrew’s eye as he promises to talk with the reverend.

Later in the episode, Andrew meets with Reverend Sikes at the church, and after eliciting a promise from Sikes to keep their conversation a secret, Andrew suggests that he is bisexual and reveals that he is up to no good:

ANDREW: Here’s the thing. I lied to my parents. I’m not gay.
SIKES: You’re not.
ANDREW: Not really. Look, all I know is I wanted to get the hell out of that camp. So I lied to my parents and told them I was really worried that I was having feelings for other guys and they did exactly what I wanted them to. They are such tools.
SIKES: I’m sorry. Just so I’m clear. Are you a heterosexual, or aren’t you?
ANDREW: Look, I love vanilla ice cream, okay? But every now and then I’m probably gonna be in the mood for chocolate. Y’know what I’m saying?
SIKES: I do, but God would prefer you stick to the vanilla.
ANDREW: I don’t believe in God.
SIKES: You don’t.
ANDREW: No. [shakes his head ruefully] Sorry.
SIKES: [sighs] You know your mother’s going to be devastated. She’s been praying so hard for you to change.
ANDREW: Well that’s the good news. I am gonna change. Big time.
SIKES: I’m not sure I follow.
ANDREW: You know what my mom said to me last night? She said she doesn’t think I’m going to heaven. Can you believe that?
SIKES: I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, but the only way that you can know paradise is by repenting your sins.
ANDREW: When she said that to me, it suddenly hit me how I was gonna get back at her. From now on, I’m going to be so good. I’m gonna eat my vegetables, I’m gonna get good grades, I’m gonna say “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am.” I’m gonna make her believe that God has delivered her this little miracle. Until one day when she least expects it, I’m gonna do something so awful it is going to rock her world. I mean, it is really going to destroy her. When that day comes, trust me, I’ll know paradise.

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