Television's junk-genre programmers, apparently unwilling to shell out bucks for a new round of Hollywood Squares, has found a cheaper way to peddle its surplus of Z-list personalities.

It's called “celebreality” - the new wave of reality TV in which celebrities are presented to us as “real” people.

Beginning with such sophisticated TV offerings as The Osbournes, The Anna Nicole Show and Celebrity Boot Camp, it has descended steadily down the ladder of taste to shows like The Surreal Life and Celebrity Mole Hawaii.

One of celebreality's current concoctions is the unbelievably tedious and idiotic Celebrity Fit Club 3 - VH1's one-hour reality show in which eight overweight celebrities compete to lose weight.

Please keep in mind, I use the term celebrity loosely.

We are not talking Princess Fergie, or Lynn Redgrave, or Kirstie Alley, or, God help us, even Anna Nicole Smith here. No, the “famous” fat-burners featured in Celebrity Fit Club 3 are from way down the celebrity fast food chain. I had barely heard of half of them.

Among CFC3's mixed bag of out-of-shape rappers, ex-child actors, 70s sitcom has-beens, former Hollywood Squares and grown-up children of stars are Jeff Conaway (Taxi, Grease), Countess Vaughn (The Parkers), Bizarre (actor/musician, D12, The Longest Yard '05),
Kelly LeBrock (The Woman in Red, Weird Science), Tempest Bledsoe (The Cosby Show) and Young MC.

The show includes two notable queers in its bevy of heavies, Bruce Vilanch (writer/comedian, Hollywood Squares) and Chastity Bono (daughter of Sonny & Cher).
It's nice to see kindred spirits welcomed at the diet dinner table. (Hey, America should know that we have eating disorders too.)

CFC3 is hosted by gay comedian ANT. As a past co-host on E!'s Talk Soup and the syndicated Ricki Lake Show, ANT is no stranger to tabloid TV. Surprisingly quiet and laid back in this season's opening episode, the guy who's website claims he's "...so gay, I can put a lisp in the word 'cracker'" has so far been so low key as to pass completely under this viewer's gaydar. I wish he'd act up more. CFC3 could use some arch wit and commentary.

Simply put, there is not much life in this mopey, slow-moving show. They say the whole world loves a fat man. But as Dom DeLuise learned when his diet-themed movie Fatso bombed at the box-office (and as I'm sure comedy writer Bruce Vilanch is learning now) there's just something not-too-entertaining about having to watch overweight people
lose weight.

I mean, just how exciting is a “weighing-in ceremony”? How much tension can be mustered in a half-mile run where (and I quote the show's press release) “all of the celebrities find themselves needing to walk for part of the race?”

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