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Having to watch an entire season of morbidly obese Bruce Vilanch in nothing but under shorts is bad enough. But having to watch Vilanch lose a mere 40 out of a whopping 320 pounds over the course of 16 weeks is like having to watch that 8 hour movie of Yoko Ono sleeping. Watching the grass grow would be more fun.

I found myself wishing “Now if only Bruce could pull an Anna Nicole-Smith. Vanish for a few months and then suddenly reappear at half the size. Now that would be something!”

With CFC3 including both a gay host and two gay “celeb” contestants, the hot-button issue of body politics will undoubtedly rear its combative head in GLBT public forums everywhere. Within Queerdom, an entire rainbow of conflicting opinions exists regarding obesity.

Will Vilanch lose his poster boy star status with gay “mirth & girth” groups who enjoy jolly plumpness? Will Bono be vilified by lesbians who celebrate obesity as a liberation from male-dominated concepts of feminine beauty? Is CFC3 an affront to queer chubs and their chasers, big bears and fat fetishists? Will the show acerbate the already testy relationship between gay muscle twinks and the more portly friends of Dorothy? Will we all have to march on Hollywood and picket the Emmys?

And can anyone please just call in Susan Powter and STOP THE INSANITY?!?!

As one might expect, Celebrity Fit Club's advertising connections to the diet industry are insidious. Within minutes of visiting the show's website my email inbox was invaded with
all manner of weight loss spam, such as “Shed pounds with Hoodia!” and “Reduce Cellulite!” The show's commercial breaks are loaded with ads for every imaginable weight loss and health related product.

Naturally, the show's producers offer some token moralizing rationalizations for bringing CFC3 into our homes. As their website solemnly preaches, “This show is about more than diet and exercise. It deals with difficult emotional issues around body image and the fear of failure. By signing up to Celebrity Fit Club, (the celebrities) are making a brave statement to the world that they have a problem and they need help to overcome it.”

Yeah, right. And this coming from the same industry that last season proudly brought us the Fat Chance cable special celebrating plus-sized women (created by Skinny Women are Evil author, and large-and-in-charge star, Mo'nique).

There is simply no niche audience that reality television won't exploit, and no fad it won't jump on!

For all I can tell, Celebrity Fit Club is actually the brainchild of the junk food industry. Perhaps by parading unhappy, messed up, over-weight celebrities before us in a truly
less-than-favorable light, real consumers are made to feel less guilty about their own obesity problems. Thus we are inclined to continue our own unhealthy lifestyle choices, much to the delight of McDonalds et al.

With all the ad dollars its producers must be raking in from the diet industry, it's amazing how low budget this supposedly “celebrity studded” show looks. Its ceremonial weigh-ins take place in what appears to be a community church; its exercise events in some local, outdoor high-school track field. The program offers none of reality TV's usual gaudy mansions, exotic locales or A-list star attractions.

There is continuous mention of “prizes” to be awarded to the celebrity contestants. Yet no mention is made yet of just what the “prizes” are. Frankly, this viewer is curious as to why celebrities need to be awarded anything. Prizes are for “real” people, and weight-loss is its own reward!

Make no mistake, the problem of obesity is of epidemic proportions in this country. As I write this article, U.S. government health agencies are raising the official “average” weight figure for adults. U.S. automakers recently announced that car seats are going to be made wider in order to accommodate today's bigger bums. Airlines are raising airfares because a planeload of flyers now weighs more, and thus uses up more fuel, than it did 20 years ago.

That's right, boyz, America is getting fatter. Ain't it great to know that Hollywood is right there to exploit it?

Get more info at the official website

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