"America's Next Top Model" Recap – Episode 8.4

It's makeover week, so you know I'm happy. I can't help it. It's my favorite episode of each cycle. I love seeing the girls cry when they get their hair cut. Some of them always come out looking so much better, but there's always one or two where you're just like, "Why?" This cycle is no exception, but we'll get to that.

First, we get to see Diana and Whitney bonding over being the big girls. Whitney says she doesn't want to be seen as the fat girl. This is all kinds of sad, because they don't look fat at all. They look healthy. Unlike Jaslene, who looks like Skeletor. I really think she might have an eating disorder.

Cassandra is like the sweetest girl ever. She's been encouraging all the other girls. She thinks she can still compete and be a nice person. Has she seen this show before? The nice girls always get sent home first. If you're going to be nice, you have to at least be crazy, or at least quirky. See Jael. Who is currently piling red tinsel on her head. Don't ask. I don't know either.

Tyra Mail! "We cut only one of you last night, But we'll cut a few of you tomorrow. -- love Tyra." Makeovers! Eeee! I can hardly stand it.

The girls are excited, too. Brittany tells Jael they can do whatever they want to her and she won't be upset. Uh oh. They take that as a challenge, you know. Prediction: Brittany will be crying about her makeover before it's over.

The J's meet the girls at some salon with the salon owner, Neeko. Apparently, he did Tyra's hair back when she was seventeen or something. You can't say Tyra doesn't reward those around her. Neeko will be doing the girls' makeovers. Tyra comes out wearing pajamas and curlers acting like she's all confused about what's going on. Because Tyra sleeps at the salon? Times must be bad on The Tyra Banks Show.

Also, why does Tyra always insist on acting? It's just embarrassing for everyone involved, including those of us at home. She does this whole bit about how she thought they weren't doing makeovers this year because the girls always cry and complain about it. Are you trying to make me cry? This show would be nothing without its makeovers! Okay, so I exaggerate ever so slightly. Still... admit it. The makeovers are great. So anyway, they show a montage of past cycles' crybabies.

Tyra goes on to reveal what they have planned for each girl. Jael's hair is going to be long and brunette. Cassandra will lose the wig she has sewn to her head and get a big afro weave. Renee will get a short cut reminiscent of Yoanna, Cycle 2's winner. Whitney will get long extensions. Diana is going blonde, which, she's already like a dirty blonde so not much of a change there, guys. They're going to give Felicia bangs and make her hair longer and darker. Dionne is getting a Kelis-style short cut. Sarah is going brown. Jaslene will get her hair cut shorter with more body. Brittany is getting long, red hair. Natasha will go shorter and chocolate brown.

Then Tyra and the J's do this dumb bit where they pretend to give her wig a makeover using pruning shears while she screams and cries. Why do they hate us? You know, I assumed it was a wig, but maybe it wasn't and that explains the weird head scarves she's been sporting all season.