"America's Next Top Model" Recap – Episode 8.4

It's taken eight hours so far to do Jael's weave. Eight hours! They've given her this long straight brown hair. I'm not sure how I feel about it. She's concerned it makes her look too normal, and I kind of agree. It takes away all her edge. She's very pretty, but it's not taking her to another level.

Luckily, Jay agrees. He's been on the phone with Tyra, and they decided to take all her weave back out. Oh my God! Eight hours for nothing! Plus they now have to take it all back out and cut her hair! The poor girl! She cries. It's our first makeover-induced tears of the cycle, but for once, they're perfectly justified. I'd cry too. In fact, I almost do cry, I feel so sorry for her.

Jael is a trooper, though. She cries for a while, then decides she's going to own it. And she does. "I can rock any hair. I'm a rocker." Rock on, Jael. I love you.

Tyra Mail! "For those of you who didn't make the cut yesterday, you have one more chance to make it up to me. --love Tyra." The girls deduce that it will be a makeup challenge.

Brittany is still whining about her hair. She's competing for Whiner of the Week this episode. Move over, Renee. (But don't worry, Renee. I still hate you most of all.) Brittany says the weave hurts and then she cries about it. Finally! Thank you! It's about time someone cried about their makeover.

The other girls have zero sympathy for Brittany. Apparently, she's been very emotional lately and crying over everything. In fact, Diana reveals her inner bitch when she cattily gossips about Brittany with Jaslene and Whitney. And I just have to point out that Whitney has these big, ol' Pippi Longstocking braids in this scene. I guess it's for sleeping, but she just looks like a dark chocolate Swiss Miss.

Brittany must be crying an awful lot, though, cuz even Whitney is fed up. She confronts Brittany and more or less tells her she cries too much and for no reason and she needs to grow up. Brittany seems more bemused by the whole thing than upset or offended.

Jael checks her messages. One says, "Give me a call when you get this. ______ passed away." That's it. That's the whole message. Well, the show bleeped out the deceased person's name for privacy reasons, but still. Who the hell leaves a message like that on voice mail?

We eventually learn that one of Jael's close friends back home has died of an overdose. Jael is understandably devastated. Now, I don't mean to sound insensitive, but was anyone shocked that Jael's friends do drugs? Not that I don't hurt for Jael right now. I really do feel for her the girl's family and other friends. It's heartbreaking to watch her try and process the news. She does manage to pull herself together for the next challenge though.

The challenge is held at this beautiful garden setting. While they wait, we learn that Brittany has some sort of stomach virus. Bitchy Renee suggests she sleep it off in the limo, which would cause her to miss the challenge and, therefore, most likely face the judge's wrath come panel. Which, I'm sure, is exactly what Renee intended. She's diabolical, y'all. I told you she'd stab somebody in the back the first chance she got. She looks for other people's weaknesses in order to exploit them. Nasty, nasty person.

Fortunately, Jael and Sarah encourage Brittany to hang in there and do the challenge.

The girls go to meet Roxanna Floyd, a CoverGirl makeup artist, and Carissa Rosenberg, entertainment director for Seventeen Magazine. Roxanna looks a little mannish. Just sayin'. The challenge involves running around to five different tables set up around the garden and creating a "fresh, spring look" with CoverGirl makeup. The winner and two friends will get a spread in Seventeen Magazine.

First, though, they all have to get dressed up in these hideous flowy spring dresses. They have trouble finding sizes to fit Whitney and Diana. Ugh. They do this every year and it always pisses me off. They know damn well they have two plus sized girls coming, so why don't they have clothes ready for them? It's all so fake and staged, and designed purely to break down the big girls' spirits. Argh! Oh, and why does Brittany suddenly look like Laurie from Trading Spaces?

The challenge is timed, and Cassandra gets back late, so she's disqualified. Brittany got sick halfway through, but she manages to win anyway. She picks Jael and Sarah to participate in the prize with her since they encouraged her to stay in the game. Jael is glad for the distraction, bless her heart. She sings Brittany 's praises at the shoot.

Renee, on the other hand, can't say enough nasty things about Brittany . She doesn't know how she keeps winning all the challenges. Maybe because she's better than you? She says, "If she wants to win all the little battles while I win the whole war, that's fine with me." The only war Renee is going to win is the War of the Bitches.