"America's Next Top Model" Recap – Episode 8.4

Tyra Mail! "Sundae is not just a day of rest. --love Tyra." The less said about that the better.

Moving on, Renee is still trash talking Brittany, who is lying mere feet away. Brittany calls her on it, cryptically saying, "The walls in a house full of women are paper thin." Renee, of course, gets all bitchy and defensive, and lies through her teeth about how, "I've been nothing but nice to you. Nothing but genuine to you." Sure, if genuine is talking about someone behind their back. She then whines about how she's mad that Brittany is trying to make her feel bad for gossiping about her behind her back, and how that's just what girls do. Way to rise above petty, demeaning stereotypes, Renee! Yes, all women are just backstabbing harpies who can't get along with each other. You've come a long way, baby.

Sigh.

She ends the argument by telling Brittany that she acts like she's still in high school. Brittany responds with, "I'm still kicking your ass in this competition." It's true. She is. Renee proves how mature she is by giving Brittany the finger. I so hate Renee. I hate Renee so much, I'm back to liking Brittany just for standing up to her. I can't stand bullies.

Jael is still having a struggle dealing with the death of her friend. Brittany is sitting nearby encouraging and comforting her.

Meanwhile, not too far away sit the Mean Girls, Diana and Renee. Renee is staring daggers at Brittany, which doesn't go unnoticed. Renee tells Diana, "I swear to God, I'm going to knock Brittany on her ass one of these times." Diana responds, "I can't stand the bitch, either." Wow. I don't get the Brittany hate. Unless the editors aren't showing us something, it seems like they hate her for being emotional and nice. I suspect it's coming from a place of jealousy and insecurity. Either that or Renee is just plain nuts. I'm not ruling that out.

The scene ends with Renee saying, "Jael needs to go through whatever she needs to go through. She doesn't need a bunch of fake bitches running around pretending to be her friend." No, apparently what she needs is a bunch of fake bitches ignoring her while she's in pain. HATE!

Photo Shoot! The girls file into some studio and Jay meets them standing on a garishly painted set holding a bowl of ice cream. The theme is sundaes (as per the Tyra Mail) and the girls will have to pose as various toppings. Or something. I don't quite get it. It's an ill-conceived, dumb idea. It's a cheesy set, bad makeup, and pointless idea. Would it be so hard to just do a real fashion shoot? Why do they have to come up with these stupid themes that make no sense? Oh, and did I mention they have to pose nude?

Brittany is not happy. She says her parents won't like it that she posed nekkid, but they'll have to deal with it. If you go on this show, you should be prepared to pose nude. They do it pretty much every season.

Cassandra is up first and apparently, she's jelly beans. If you say so. This is the dumbest shoot ever. She's naked, humping a giant sundae, and holding a dripping mess of ice cream in one hand. What. The. Hell? Her hand is numb by the end of her shoot.

Sarah is hard candy. Sigh. I don't see it. She gives good face, though.

Dionne is candy cane. I'm really not getting it. How are hard candies and candy canes sundae toppings? Maybe crushed candy canes around Christmas, but still... This is just silly. Dionne gets really into the ice cream bit, smearing it all over herself. It's like bad porn. She tells Jay she thinks she more comfortable naked than dressed. Then maybe she should consider that high fashion magazine Playboy.

Brittany whines, moans, and complains, then goes for it one hundred and ten percent. She's banana split, by the way. I'm not even going to bother.

Diana is gummy bears. Really? How? She has trouble posing nude. She's clearly uncomfortable with her body.

Renee is candy necklace. It just gets worse and worse. She's wearing a candy necklace, but what does that have to do with a sundae? If you have to do a stupid theme, it should have just been a candy store theme. Why bother with the sundaes and ice cream? Anyway, she does well and I'm mad.

Whitney is a chocolate kiss. Not that you'd ever figure that out by looking at her.

Jael is a birthday cake. So they tell me. I think she looks like an alien. Somehow, to her credit, she makes that work.

Felicia is a lollipop. I give up.

Jaslene is dulce de leche. Oh! My! God! Get this girl a sammich. STAT!

Natasha is a gumball. No, really. That wasn't a joke about her intellect. Besides, everyone knows gumballs are popular sundae toppings.