"Being Human" Season Two: Gay Vampires, Bad Boyfriends and Good Bromances

George stayed human, and therefor not naked, for two episodes.

We start with a Mitchell flashback to New Year’s Eve 1999 with Mitchell tied to a chair in a room. Maybe this is some English New Year's Eve custom us Yanks don't get? Another Boxing Day?

Anyway, a handsome debonair vampire is kneeling in front of Mitch. It turns out they’re friends, and the vamp is going to help Mitchell give up the blood. I guess this must be one of Mitchell's New Year's Resolutions: Finally read some Jane Austen. Stop watching so much reality telly. Lay off the crisps. Stop killing and draining humans of blood. The usual.

Did I mention the vampire is gay and has a human companion who brings him champagne? Or that Mitchell is made to apologize like a little boy when he threatens to rip out the human’s throat? And here I thought all English were ridiculously polite.

MITCHELL: But I'm hungry!
GAY VAMP: So don't give up crisps this year.

Jumping back to the present, Annie is enjoying her new job, or I should say she’s mostly enjoying chatting with Saul, who’s too good to be true. Unless you’re her boss Hugh, who doesn’t mind her not working, but does mind that she’s not snogging him. Um, sexual harassment!

If he only knew the guy she was snogging had once been metabolically challenged and was now taking instructions on romance from television announcers. He should at least turn off the bar telly to level the field.

Back at the hospital, Mitchell continues to flirt with the Lucy the Doctor by talking about vomit and poo. This is why so many shows are set in hospitals. Talk about hot! 

As Mitch and Lucy get out of the elevator, they see the cops have brought in a body. It's a body Mitchell recognizes, as he does the puncture marks on the neck. Hmm, perhaps this will be important.

Everyone in this picture is seeing something different.

The cop tells Lucy the Doctor they also found two tickets for Sister Act in the dead guy's apartment so he's clearly a 'mo. Seriously, this is the cop talking to the doctor. When she mentions the body has no blood, they go with “gay vampire” and she busts out my favorite line of the ep: “Mince of Darkness.”

Mitchell later tries to tell George about Carl, the vampire from the opening flashback, and how Mitchell once lived with Carl who helped him give up blood. But instead of worrying about the dead body part, George is hurt that Mitchell has lived with people before him.

This why George is so adorkable and it turns into one of those new couples conversations, except instead of “How many women have you slept with?” it’s “How many people have you lived with?”

The bromances on Scrubs and Better Off Ted just got destroyed by these two.

So not the point, George.

It turns out the dead body in the hospital is Dan, the human lover of Carl. Mitchell doesn't realize that with the vampire king dead (whom that George killed), the coroner hasn't been getting his bribes and therefore is no longer covering things up for the vamps. Mitchell should be more worried about that and less concerned that the original vampire vegan is having human tartare again, and his lover at that.