The Gay Guide to "The Vampire Diaries"

Those of us already addicted to The Vampire Diaries on The CW know that the show has yet to introduce the gay character that co-creator Kevin Williamson promised would be added this season. Which is a good thing for those of you not yet watching TVD, as it gives you a chance to get caught up now so you'll be up to speed when the gay character finally does arrive in Mystic Falls.

I mean, what's worse than being the only gay on the block not up to date? Plus, this week's episode has a masquerade ball and us gays love nothing more than a good costume party!

So in preparation for that event, and in the spirit of Halloween, here is our Gay/Bi guide to The Vampire Diaries. Please note, to make things easier, I'll be referencing two of the gayest horror shows to have ever aired — Buffy the Vampire Slayer and True Blood — to help explain who is who.

Here is the set up. The Vampire Diaries takes place in Mystic Falls, Virginia, a very unusual small town where all sorts of amazingly supernatural events take place that set it apart from almost every other place in the world. Well, except for a few other small towns where horrible monsters creep around in the dark.

Okay, so maybe Mystic Falls isn't that unusual.

But Mystic Falls is one of those places where no one ever seems to have to actually work much or attend classes, but where some kind of event is always taking place. You know, the sort of event where something bad usually goes down.

Like any good sudsy drama, there is a love triangle at the heart of things. Naturally, it's a heterosexual love triangle, in this case involving Stefan Salvatore, Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert. But since two points of the triangle are hot men, there is plenty of beefcake to ogle. In this case, the beefcake are brothers just like on Supernatural.

Up first is Stefan Salvatore played by Paul Wesley. He's a vampire, but he's basically a good guy at heart and really really loves Elena. He's also kind of blah and not terribly interesting. He's also constantly badly injured or dying and has to feed off his girlfriend.

Basically, he's Bill from True Blood. Both of them can suck the life out you — through their sheer dullness.

Theoretically, he could also be Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but since Stefan's charisma died with his humanity, not so much.