Reality TV Finally Gets Personal With Gay Men Again

Bravo's Boy Meets Boy was ahead of its time. The 2003 dating reality show, which had confirmed bachelor James Getzlaff choose between a bevy of available men (some of whom were secretly straight), was one of the first shows specifically geared towards the personal and romantic lives of gay men.

The cast of Boy Meets Boy

Alas, BMB didn’t exactly burn up the airwaves and its first season was its one and only. Nor did it set off a stampede of similarly themed programming.

Nonetheless, reality TV has always had at least a hint of gay. Even the first reality show, An American Family, also gave us Lance Loud, the first openly gay person on television, . And Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, the flagship that led Bravo into a new age of gayness and popularity, not only helped make gay judges and “experts” a staple of competitive reality TV, but put straight and gay men together in a way never seen before.

But it's been rare to see a show that gives us a deep and personal look into the lives of gay men themselves. After Boy Meets Boy went off the air, the only dating shows that gay men tended to appear on were about finding love for heterosexuals. Fox’s 2004 show, Playing it Straight featured a mix of straight men and gay men all trying to convince a single woman they were all straight (and only lasted three episodes), while 2007’s Gay, Straight or Taken? featured a gay man, a single straight man, and a partnered straight man all trying to fool a single woman into picking one of them for a date.

But reality shows that featured gay and bisexual men as more than just roadblocks to heterosexual love or as supporting players in someone else’s story have been harder to find. The always gay-friendly MTV provided one of the rare exceptions with their dating show Next, which featured gay and straight singles seeking love via a rapid fire series of five dates.

However, as gay people on most kinds of reality shows have gradually become so commonplace as to not even be noteworthy, a new trend in reality TV has begun to develop: shows specifically about gay and bisexual men. No longer are the most visiible gay people solely contestants on The Amazing Race and Project Runway, or experts passing judgment from the sidelines.

It began with small strides on existing mainstream shows. Project Runway gave us slightly deeper portrayals of gay contestants, like when Jack Mackenroth revealed his HIV-positive status. Frequent appearances by Jay Manuel and J. Alexander on America's Next Top Model and Bruno Tonioli of Dancing With the Stars made audiences increasingly comfortable with gay men on TV.

Jack Mackenroth, J. Alexander and Jay Manuel

This eventually evolved into shows where gays became the main event. One of the first to put a gay man front and center was Bravo’s Flipping Out which features Jeff Lewis and started airing in 2007. Meanwhile, 2009 saw Logo (our parent company), debut RuPaul’s Drag Race which featured all gay men and gave a fair bit of time to their personal lives.

And in 2010 the trend of reality programming actually about gay and bisexual men seems to be accelerating with a veritable barrage of gay-focused reality shows, like Project Runway spin-off On the Road with Austin and Santino and Logo’s Real Housewives facsimile The A-List: New York. And word is that Bravo, the network that started the Real Housewives genre, has its own gay Housewives program in the works.

Even networks with much less history of specifically targeting gay audiences have gotten in on the action. Planet Green, a channel dedicated to environmental issues, introduced us to The Fabulous Beekman Boys with both a series about the couple and a Christmas special airing this month. And the Sundance Channel launched Be Good Johnny Weir earlier this year and just this month premiered Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys about gay men and their best female friends.

Johnny Weir

All of these shows are giving gay and straight audiences a look into the lives of gay men that go far beyond what we see in most reality shows. Folks who watched The Fabulous Beekman boys got a close up look at Josh Kilmer-Purcell and Brent Ridge, a gay couple who clearly love each other, but also have a fractious relationship.

Meanwhile, Girls Who Like Boys features one gay man struggling to come out and integrate into the gay community (Sahil), another who is determined to become a dad (Nathan) and a third who is getting married to his partner (Joel). And Be Good Johnny Weir chronicled the very complicated life of the Olympic skater as he dealt with the disappointment of another Olympic failure.

Brent Ridge and Josh-Kilmer Purcell

Why is American reality TV suddenly so interested in the actual lives of us gays? This might be wishful thinking, but the increasing popularity of “gay reality” might just be a positive sign that American culture is truly beginning to think of gay people as being part of reality. Not that reality shows have much to do with reality in the first place. But they do have a great deal to do with our culture.

As ridiculous as it might sound, even shows like The A-List might actually be a sign that Americans are becoming more tolerant, more accepting, and just all-around better people.

At least, that's what I keep telling myself.