“Game of Thrones” Recap 103: Winter is Coming (and the Glass is Half-Empty Too!)

I confess: I’m entertained by the show, definitely enough to keep watching, but I’m still not exactly riveted. Which is a weird thing for a recapper to admit, but I think it’s worth mentioning, because I’m pretty much the target audience for this show (total fantasy geek and major fan of the book series, but not so much a fan that I’m nitpicky about anything they changed).

That said, there is still much to be admired here, especially since this week’s episode, “Lord Snow,” includes one of my favorite lines … well, in any show ever. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

We open with Boromir arriving in King’s Landing with Arya and Sansa. Right off the bat, Boromir has it out with Jamie Lannister, but neither one says exactly what he means, so I’ll translate:

First, Boromir “compliments” Jamie’s armor, pointing out that there isn’t a scratch on it (translation: he’s a coward).

“Lots of people have swung and missed,” Jamie says (translation: he’s a badass).

“You must choose your opponents wisely,” Boromir says (translation: you're still a coward since you only fight opponents you know you can beat).

“You’re right, I do pick my opponents wisely,” Jamie says (translation: I’m picking you!).

And so on. There’s so much subtext, my head is spinning!

"What do you mean, 'Take a seat?!' What's that subtext for?"

I actually love conversations like this, even if they do seem a little screenwriter-y. Do people ever really talk like this? If it were me, I’d get all confused. “Wait. Oh, you weren’t talking about dog poop on your shoe – you were talking about me!” And then ten minutes after the conversation was over, I’d come up with the perfect response: “Wait, come back! I meant to say I had a bad case of athlete’s foot, implying you’re a fungus between my toes!”

Still, before I die, I totally want to have a conversation like this with my nemesis. Hell, before I die, I just want to have a nemesis! I thought I had one once in college, but he just turned out to be a garden variety *sshole.

When Boromir meets the king’s council of advisors, we also meet Lord Renly Baratheon. (Psstt! He’s gay! But we don’t learn that for sure until the next episode. And he doesn’t get “manscaped” by his boyfriend – no seriously! – until the fifth episode.)

Once again, we’re reminded what a good guy Boromir is, because he wants to reduce the kindom’s deficit – but without eliminating Medicare.

Next we see Cersei talking to Prince Prissypants, and she tells him two things I love. First: "As king, the truth will be what you make it.”

Hmmm, now why does that sound so familiar? Oh, right, here’s George W. Bush advisor Karl Rove talking to the New York Times Magazine in 2004 and mocking what he termed the “reality-based” community: “We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality.”

Basically, the same person (except Cersei has some sense of shame)

Then Cersei says to Prince Prissypants what I said before is one of my favorite lines of all time: “Everyone who isn’t us is an enemy.”

Isn’t that great? It tells you everything you need to know about the monstrous evil that is Cersei (and also Karl Rove, but that’s a different story).

Next Page! Wow, that nursemaid is a downer!