***Spoiler Alert*** This week Calista Flockhart pads her ass. And I, your trusty Brothers & Sisters recapper, will again try to marshal what flimsy evidence I can to support my insane theory that Rob Lowe's Senator McAllister character is actually a closeted homosexual. No doubt, somewhere down the line we'll hear Calista Flockhart borrow a line from Joan Cusack in In & Out: “Is everybody gay!?” On Brothers & Sisters, it sure seems like it.

Let's get on with the recap, shall we? The show opens in Tommy Walker's shower. He's rinsing off (presumably post-coitus). In walks his wife Julia. She slips off her robe and slides into the shower with him. Apparently, those pregnancy hormones have made her sexually insatiable. Either that, or she's trying to stake her claim to the Getty oil fortune via John Paul's grandson, Balthazar).

Julia: What you did back there was incredible.
Tommy: Well, I do aim to please.
Julia: Good. Because I'm nowhere near finished with you.

At that, Julia's blonde head drops down below the bottom of the frame. And I don't think it's because Tommy dropped the soap. Oh Julia, you wanton hussy.

Decorum and network censors require we swiftly cut to a political luncheon. Senator Jack McAllister (Rob Lowe) is addressing a bunch of Republican women. His new communications director, Kitty Walker, looks on approvingly as he tells the assembled audience about how his dear departed mother taught him how to cook.

McAllister: By ten I could whip up a perfect meringue, de-glaze a pan, and truss a chicken. But by the time puberty rolled around I'd had enough. Football, friends seemed more important. So I told my mom I was done. I was a guy! I didn't want to spend Sundays in the kitchen with my mom. And you know what she said? She told me that someday I would realize that taking care of people was neither masculine nor feminine. It's a privilege. And it is an honor. And she was right.

Brief aside to mention that this is the second time we've heard about the Senator's cooking skills. Last week Justin mentioned that the Senator visited his army base in Afghanistan and cooked blueberry pancakes for the troops. He's a regular Betty Crocker.

After his speech a raspy-voiced woman named Elise (think Brenda Vaccaro with hair extensions) comes up and fawns over McAllister.

Elise: Oh those baby blues. Cheekbones that could cut glass. Your financials are impeccable.

Yeah impeccable -- considering what Brothers & Sisters must be paying him to “special guest star” for the rest of the season.

Anyway, turns out Elise runs a dating service. She slips the Senator her business card and tells him she'd like to take him on as a client. Kitty intercepts the card and pulls the Senator away.

Kitty: If the press ever got wind of you using a madam...
McAllister: uh, Executive Matchmaker….
Kitty: Whatever. They would have a field day. And by the way, can you think of a less romantic way to meet someone?

I can. And it's coming up in the next scene….

Cut to the gym. We are in the middle of some sort of boot camp aerobics class and Kevin is having a hard time finishing his set of push ups. The drill sergeant/instructor makes it even harder by sitting on his back and yelling at him. Class ends and Kevin, breathless, turns to “Chad,” the handsome guy working out next to him.

Kevin: I can't believe he sat on me. Is that a common occurrence?
Chad: What, you haven't taken Benny before? He gets off on being a hard ass.

Oh my head is reeling from all these unintentional (?) double entendres. Brief aside to mention that Chad is played by Jason Lewis, formerly the Sex and the City “Absolut Hunk.” He's cut his hair off since his stint as Samantha's boy toy. He still looks pretty good. Though not as good.

Kevin: It's my first week.
Chad: With those arms, bro? Could've fooled me.

Bro? You have got to be kidding me. But wait, it gets worse. Chad then looks down at Kevin's tennis shoes and says…

Chad: Nice kicks by the way. Where'd you get them?

Kicks? What is he, like twelve? What man in his thirties refers to tennis shoes as “kicks?”

Kevin tells Chad he purchased the sneakers someplace on Melrose. Whereupon Chad tells Kevin he's waiting for some limited-edition Japanese imports.

Chad: They have blue and orange on the side and this cool red mesh on the soles. My publicist put me on the list.
Kevin: They sound great!

They sound like something Ronald McDonald might wear to me. I'm just saying. Anyway, Chad offers to have his publicist put Kevin on the clown shoe list as well. So they can be twinsies! This gives him a pretext to ask for Kevin's contact info. Or at least that's what it seems like.

Just then a stars-truck young woman walks up. She recognizes Chad from the soap opera he stars on and asks him to sign her gym bag. He's happy to oblige. Kevin looks on quizzically. He's not certain, but it sure seemed like this handsome soap opera actor was making the moves on him.

Cut to Sarah's office at Walker Foods. Kevin is showing Sarah and Tommy Chad Berry's website. Because that's what they do over at the executive offices of Walker Foods –- sit around and look at people's MySpace profiles. Kevin is telling his siblings all about how the soap star was trying to pick up on him. Tommy is willing to buy it, but Sarah finds the story hard to believe.

Sarah: You are so full of yourself. Chad Berry has had like ten girlfriends in the last year.

Kevin gives her a sidewise glance. How would she know that?

Sarah: I'm a mom. I read US Weekly.
Tommy: I say go for it, Kev. Straight guys don't usually comment on other guy's bodies.
Kevin: Since when have you been so sex positive, Tommy?

Brief aside, but that last line of Kevin's seems like a pretty clumsy dialog segue to me. However, it gives Tommy the chance to tell his brother and sister about wife Julia's pregnancy hormones and how they are making her insatiable. As if on cue, Tommy's cell phone rings. It is Julia and she wants him home for “lunch.” He heads off. Once more into the breach, baby.

That leaves Kevin and Sarah to pore further over Chad Berry's web page.

Kevin: Oh look, he brought his mom to the daytime Emmys.
Sarah: Everyone does that now.
Kevin: Yeah, everyone who's gay!
Kevin: And look! Favorite music? All things Cristina.
Sarah: (reconsidering) You might be right about the gay thing.