Greetings Brothers & Sisters fans. After a two week absence, our favorite Sunday night drama is back with a new episode entitled “Valentines Day Massacre.” It's a violently suggestive title, but if you were hoping someone actually gets killed this episode, then I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed. This isn't The Sopranos. No one gets whacked. A lot of people do get laid however. Oh, and Momma Nora spends the night in jail. Pretty much par for the course on Brothers & Sisters.

Lets get started shall we?

The show opens in a San Diego hotel room where Kitty Walker (Calista Flockhart) awakes to find herself in bed with Senator Robert McAllister (Rob Lowe). The mussy-haired floozy lets out a little shriek in dismay. The guy is her boss and she was supposed to be on a “man fast,” after all. Kitty recoils and falls off the side of the bed. This wakes up the Senator who assures her that “she'll get used to his bed hair” soon enough.

Yeah, Senator, but it's your Prince Albert she's having issues with. Err, just kidding.

Kitty tells the Senator an earthquake made her fall off the bed. Apparently the “earth shook last night.” Brief aside, but let's hope this opening scene is some sort of “flash forward” and we flash back to the night before – else Kitty and the Senator's tryst seems a bit abrupt. I think us viewers need to know how these two wound up in the sack. I mean, heck, three episodes ago I thought the Senator was a closet case.

Cut to Ojai Foods. Sarah (Rachel Griffiths) is just walking into her office when her cell phone rings. It's Kitty calling from her hotel bathroom to tell her big sister all about how she slept with Senator McAllister. Kitty needs advice in dealing with this “crisis situation,” but it's a pretty flimsy crisis if you ask me. So you slept with your boss. Big whoop. Sarah isn't all that fazed either.

Sarah: You scared me. I thought something bad had happened.
Kitty: Something bad did happen! Do you understand that I work for him? He is my boss.
Sarah: Oh please, sleeping with co-workers is like a reflex for you.

Kitty goes on the defensive.

Kitty: What if he thinks I'm easy?

Then the Senator needs to take a number. The line forms behind me.

Sarah: So how was he?
Kitty: Please as if I would ever……you know he was great!
Sarah: Really? I thought the only position that Republicans could commit to was missionary position.

Just then, Kitty gets another call on her cell phone. (Oh the joys of call waiting – how did sitcom plotlines manage before them?) On the other line is brother Kevin. Kitty tells Sarah to hang on and switches calls.

Kevin (Matthew Rhys) has his own big news – he slept with Scotty last night! Okay, this better be a flash forward else this is one viewer who is going to be mighty peeved.

Anyway, Kitty tells Kevin to hold on – she has to get back to Sarah. Kitty switches calls (or thinks she does)

Kitty: Hey Sarah. You're never going to believe this – Kevin slept with Scotty last night.

(Dead Silence) Sarah?

Kevin: (still on the line) And just like that you betray my trust.
Kitty: Oh please, Kevin you're like the CNN of our family. Just hold on.

Kitty switches back to Sarah who warns her not to tell Kevin about last night's “Mr Smith goes to Washington.” But all on his own Kevin figures out Kitty slept with McAllister.

Kevin: I bet he looks good naked. Was he hot in that morally reprehensible kind of way?

Oh Kevin, didn't you see that 1980's Rob Lowe sex tape? The answer is yes and yes.

While Kitty is on the phone with Sarah, Kevin takes a call from youngest brotherJustin. Apparently, Justin slept with his ex-girlfriend Tyler last night. He's feeling bad about it because as a recovering drug addict he's supposed to be celibate (so he doesn't transfer his addictive behavior to sex as opposed to, say, overeating or watching daytime dramas.)

Kevin spreads the news about Justin to Kitty and Sarah. For her part, Sarah is pretty put out that she's seems to be the only Walker sibling who didn't have sex on Valentine's Day. (Though we haven't heard from Tommy yet). Me, I'm starting to get put out by the over reliance on call waiting as a plot device in this scene.

As if to prove my point, just then Kitty gets yet another call – this one from Momma Nora. Kitty doesn't take this call, so then Nora calls Kevin, who also doesn't take the call. Finally, Sarah gets a call from Nora. Everyone else hangs up and Sarah reluctantly answers her Mom's call.