This week’s episode is called “Three Parties.”

The show opens wearing its West Wing aspirations on its sleeve. A patriotic symphony swells in the background and we are treated to a majestic dolly shot descending down on Senator McAllister as he delivers a speech in front of an audience of thousands. You don’t actually see the audience though, so possibly it’s an audience of mere dozens – like for instance people who showed up at ABC studios that day for a live taping of According to Jim. Talk about a bait and switch. Lured by the promise of James Belushi’s comedy stylings, you instead find yourself press ganged into attending a former brat-packer’s faux political rally.

McAllister: …as I look around at my crewmates and the veterans here today I am reminded that the best lessons I learned about being an American I learned in a place far away from America – on an HH-60g Pave Hawk in the Gulf. And when we came home we had a simple saying—every day is…..

Suddenly the Senator stumbles on his words and grumbles in frustration. Guess it’s not such a “simple saying” after all. We pan to the audience which is, surprise, not thousands of veterans (or even According To Jim fans.) Instead it is just a handful of the Senator’s staffers and Kitty. Looks like McAllister is road testing his campaign speech, and there are a few kinks yet to be worked out.

McAllister: Who put this helicopter stuff in here? Because God knows I didn’t.

Kitty tells the rest of the staffers to take a break and steps up onto the stage to confer with Senator. Either that or slip him a Xanax. Apparently, McAllister is upset that the speech mentions his heroic helicopter rescue. He wants to downplay that, but I’m thinking he could stand to butch it up a little. I mean, the last time we heard the Senator give a speech, he reminisced about cooking with his Mom -- trussing chickens and whipping up the perfect meringue.

McAllister: I think it’s grandstanding. It reduces me to a prop and the writing is reminiscent of a high school essay.
Kitty: Campaigning is grandstanding, and if you’re a prop you’re a heroic one, and if you’re mad at me don’t take it out on the speech writer.
McAllister: I’m not mad at you.
Kitty: You have been cold, you have been distant.
McAllister: I am three days away from my campaign, and this whole war hero business is not a mantle that I wear well.

To be honest, it’s a mantle that not many people can pull off. Heck even John McCain looks a bit silly trying to score political points while posturing in a flack jacket. Good for McAllister for recognizing his limitations. Still, Kitty thinks her boss/boyfriend should play the war hero card.

Kitty: You piloted a Pavehawk helicopter into enemy territory under heavy fire! You kept it in the landing zone and when the chopper went down you ushered five POWs into safety!

I have absolutely no idea what all that means, but it sounds a bit suspect, doesn’t it? If “The Swift Boat Veterans for Truth” were actually out for “truth” I’m sure they’d have a field day with McAllister’s war record. Methinks he may have exaggerated his piloting of a helicopter into enemy territory. My guess? He piloted it into Anaheim.

Kitty: Look, with this event we’re just trying to get everyone’s attention.
McAllister: And I’m telling you I’m not comfortable with it.

Kitty backs down.