“Brothers & Sisters” Episode 209 Recap: “Holy Matrimony”

Greetings Brothers & Sisters fans! I’ve got some good news and some bad news. First, the bad news. This is going to be the last episode until after the new year. (B&S has three more episodes in the can, but they won’t air until January.) Assuming the writer’s strike drags on — and there’s every indication that it will — that will probably be it for the season.

The good news? Kitty gets married this week. Weddings are always joyous occasions and hey, I figure the sooner Robert and Kitty tie the knot, the sooner the writers can bust ‘em up again. Am I the only one completely bored by the whole Robert McAllister warm and fuzzy Republican presidential candidate storyline? The show would be oh so much more interesting if we find out (and soon) that actually McAllister is an awful villain. Maybe we could discover he’s some sort of mad Bluebeard and keeps his ex-girlfriends buried in the basement.

Or maybe we find out he’s actually the Anti-Christ! And by running for President he hopes to ascend to the most powerful position on Earth (well, aside from Oprah) in order to bring about the Apocalypse. It’s up to the Walkers to stop him!

Okay enough daydreaming.

The episode opens at McAllister’s Santa Barbara ranch where he and Kitty are pacing the bedroom.

McAllister (on his cell): …no it is not a pot luck. I don’t want a repeat of the engagement party where every family member brought Tupperware.

I shudder to think what was brought to the stag party. Speaking of which, what happened to Robert and Kitty’s respective bachelor and bachelorette parties? Surely that campaign manager, Travis, arranged something for Robert? And what I wouldn’t have given for a scene with Kitty, Sarah and Nora doing tequila shots and stuffing dollar bills in a male stripper’s g-string.

Instead of fun scenes like that we have this one, with Robert and Kitty operating a phone tree reminding people that the wedding reception is a catered affair and not BYOB. They hang up in unison, and McAllister assures Kitty that his uncle isn’t bringing any food.

McAllister: Our wedding is officially artichoke free.

Now if they can just convince Tommy and Julia not to bring Cabbage.

McAllister notices Kitty is packing a bag.

McAllister: Hey, you don’t have to spend the night at your Mom’s.
Kitty: Oh, yes I do. It’s very bad luck to make mad, passionate love to the groom the night before the wedding.

Then the perfunctory groveling you two do should be no problem.

McAllister: You know, it’s all downhill from here. I’m gonna stop bringing you flowers, your gonna break out the housecoats, and we’re both gonna start leaving the bathroom door open.

Kitty grabs his hand and tries to say something heartfelt like, “I love you even when I see you on the crapper,” but McAllister stops her.

McAllister: Hey, why don’t you save this for our vows?

At the 11th hour McAllister has decided he wants them to write their own vows for the wedding ceremony.

Poor Kitty looks panicked.