"Brothers & Sisters" Episode 302 Recap: “Book Burning”

Stately Walker Manor. Nora is cooking up a storm, when Kitty calls to ask if she left her bag there. When Nora confirms she did, Kitty tells Nora to keep the bag zipped up so no one can see what’s inside. She rather lamely says it’s because she just bought tampons, which I think Nora knows is complete b.s. If Kitty really wanted to keep her family out of her bag, she should just have told them she’s walking around with the new “G.O.P. Senators in Their Tighty-Whiteys” fundraising calendar for 2009.

The second they hang up, Nora goes and grabs the manuscript from the bag. Apparently Kitty’s book is like something out of Harry Potter, because, just like magic, it automatically opens to a page that has something incriminating about whoever’s reading it. Thus Nora also has an instantaneous “OMFG!” reaction to whatever she sees on the page.

McCallister Ranch. Kitty tells Robert she found out all about the rumored book and he doesn’t have to worry. It’s not a tell-all at all; instead, “it explores American politics and the fractured electorate.” Wow, how gripping. I smell instant bestseller, Oprah book club, TV miniseries, and possible Broadway musical. He asks if she’s read it, and she finally fesses up to the fact that she wrote it.

Robert starts to lay into her about not telling him before now, when the doorbell rings. The Social Worker cometh!

The Social Worker is duly impressed by the anal-retentive level of babyproofing. She sits them down to grill them, asking such tough questions as how long they’ve been married. Tellingly, they disagree. Robert says eight months, Kitty says a year, than admits that it just feels that long to her. The Social Worker says that it could be an issue because they prefer people to be married for two years before adopting. So Kitty says, “Did I mention my husband is a U.S. Senator and has total access to your income tax returns?”

Actually, Kitty tries to laugh it off as if it’s no big deal. She also tries to gloss over the fact that Robert spends half his time in D.C., claiming that with vacation time and sick days, he’s pretty much only in D.C. for a few days a year. Now that sounds like the political machine I’m more familiar with.

Next tough question: aren’t the two of them raging, NRA-card-carrying, gun-loving psychos? Robert proudly says, “Yes!” at the exact same moment that Kitty says, “No,” but then she clarifies that Robert owns guns but she doesn’t. Robert promises that the guns are kept locked up, and says he’ll even get rid of them if the Social Worker says he has to. He’s also willing to part with his beloved collection of nunchucks and his trophy case of medieval torture instruments, but his pet boa constrictor roaming the house gets to stay or no deal.

Stately Walker Manor. Nora is still immersed in Kitty’s terrible prose, as Justin comes in and points out that something is burning in the oven. Nora says it serves Kitty right if part of the dinner is ruined, given Kitty’s been busy “whoring this family out for her own personal gains.” Heh. I love Nora.

Justin asks what she means, and Nora explains about Kitty’s book and how they all come across like ridiculous caricatures. To illustrate this point, she reads him a passage where Kitty talks about Nora’s marijuana bust.

Nora: My criminal record is now public knowledge!
Justin: You know, it’s just a misdemeanor Mom.
Nora: Says the drug addict.

Justin then warns her about the “pot,” and she thinks he means the mary jane she got busted for, but he’s actually talking about the pot that’s burning on the stove. Ha ha ha ha hah! This hilarious Abbott & Costello drug PSA is put to a stop by Nora continuing to read from the book, now getting to the part where Kitty basically criticizes her as being stuck in a 1950s housewife mentality where all that matters is her house, her children, and her cooking.