"Brothers & Sisters" Episode 304 Recap: “Everything Must Go”

We open on Nora and Justin inside one of the Walker mansion’s dozens of unseen, un-used rooms. Nora has decided that, for the good of the world, there is a pressing need for her non-profit organization to start work right away. Starting with the urgent need to redecorate her own home.

She’s passed over the house’s solarium, billiard room, and ballroom to focus on William’s old office as the “nerve center” for her charity, and she wants Justin to finally do some actual work to earn his rent by helping her clean the space out.

I can’t believe they’re not only pursuing this snoozer of a storyline about Nora’s charity work, but devoting an entire episode to clearing clutter, an activity I’m sure that the majority of the public spend most of their own lifetimes avoiding at all costs. What’s next week going to bring? A thrilling hour of Nora filling out a grant application? Or better yet, asking Sarah to write it for her, only she’ll secretly pass it off to Kitty, and the proverbial hijinks will ensue.

On the plus side, Justin is still clean-shaven, a hair-related improvement for this show that’s right up there with the loss of Rebecca’s reviled-across-the-blogosphere bangs.

Justin asks Nora what items she specifically wants to get rid of. She says “everything,” and Justin is somewhat to dismayed that she even means his father’s old desk. Hey, Justin, can you blame her, given what sort of extracurriculars your father was probably pursuing on top of that very desk? Trust me, that ain’t a coffee stain in the right-hand corner.

Justin questions where she intends to put all of William’s crap, and she says the garage.

Cut to the garage, which is filled with even more crap than William’s office. Justin says, “No wonder we never park here,” and Nora wonders if the stuff inside has been “breeding.” Which would make the stuff in the garage more successful breeders than four-fifths of the Walker children.

There’s so much crap in there that I’m pretty sure the set decorators had to go around to other ABC shows begging for hand-me-downs, which is why among the Walker garbage you’ll find a coconut-shell bra from Lost, a set of stained scrubs from Grey’s Anatomy, and a sequined dance belt from Dancing With the Stars. Oh, wait. All those items are actually from the set of According to Jim. And James Belushi wants his stuff back by Thursday at the latest.

Nora decides she’ll hold a garage sale and use the proceeds to pay for her new office. Boy, that’s optimistic. From what I know about garage sales, I’d think she’d be lucky to earn enough to pay for a sign reading, “New Office to Open Here Someday … Pending Stock Market Turnaround, Lottery Windfall, or Class Action Settlement.”

Then again, I really don’t know much about garage sales, because the thought of used stuff disgusts me so much. It’s not the fact the items were used by other people that grosses me out so much as wondering where exactly they were using it. Which is why I can’t even bring myself to take out library books. I mean, we all know where some people like to sit and read, right?