"Brothers & Sisters" Episode 306 Recap: “Bakersfield”

Cut to Sarah in some restaurant meeting with the Internet “wunderkinds.” They apologize for having to meet at a restaurant, since their office is being renovated.

“Kyle,” with long, blond rocker hair, is clearly the hipster ringleader, and “Ethan” is the dark-haired, bespectacled nerdy one, and for a second, I thought they were going to burst out with the opening number from Rent. Every effort has been made to emphasize how hip and quirky and non-corporate they are, and unless they do something to change this, just assume I despise them unless otherwise indicated.

They start talking about their website, and it’s very much like Kitty’s book in that everyone seems to be in agreement about how brilliant it is despite the fact that all actual evidence we get is completely lame. This scene goes on forever, and I dozed at least twice during it, but if I’m getting it right, their big idea is having a site where people can check out just how environmentally friendly various products are … because people love nothing better than schlepping laptops around supermarkets and doing searches of every product in their baskets factoring carbon footprints in with calorie counts, fat grams, and double-coupon-day special promotions.

I’m sure that there are in fact many people who would welcome this information. But as with most things on the Internet, I can’t see for the life of me how it would make money, even though all three of them are confident of the potential to rake in “serious coin.” They seem to think consumers will actually pay for this site, whereas the only sites I can think of where people pay are of course porn. And then it occurs to me that this must be why they’re all so gung-ho about their profit potential. “Greenotopia” is clearly some sort of porn site. A food porn site! Where all zucchinis, cucumbers, and bananas shown are 100% organically grown, and all participants are hippies and/or migrant grape-pickers.

Anyway, the wunderkinds talk a good game about how successful the site is even though it hasn’t even launched yet, and Sarah talks a good game about her experience and ideas to go global.

But then nerdy Ethan asks her which president, alive or dead, she’d most like to have dinner with. It’s one of those dopey “Interview for Dummies” questions that clueless hiring types like to fall back on for lack of anything better to ask. Like this one interview I went on, where the guy actually asked me which character from The Wizard of Oz I most identified with, and I said, “It doesn’t really matter which one. Because no matter what, I’ll always be a friend of Dorothy,” and he totally didn’t get it. So at least one of us learned something valuable.

Anyway, Sarah responds, “FDR.” Booo! Where are the continuity people? Shouldn’t she have said, “Jimmy Carter,” what with the signed photo she was carrying on about back in the garage sale episode? Ethan is not pleased with her answer, and while Kyle seems ready to make her an offer, nerdy Ethan is all, “We’ll be interviewing a lot of candidates. You’ve got a great personality. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.”

Meanwhile, Justin’s Narcotics Anonymous meeting is kicking off. Both running late, Tommy and Kevin meet up outside the doorway on their way in and immediately start trading barbs. And no, that isn't a euphemism for their favorite words of wisdom from La Streisand.

Tommy asks to “bury the hatchet.” So Kevin accuses him of having “done a hatchet job” on him. So Tommy calls Kevin a “drama queen,” which, although true, is a very low blow. Then, awesomely, it comes to actual blows.