"Brothers & Sisters" Episode 308 Recap: “Going Once … Going Twice”

Back at the Auction, the second house is now up on the block. Nora isn’t excited any more and wants to leave. But Kevin assures her what a great house it is and how big it is, and then suddenly segues into fantasizing about all the parties he and Scotty could throw there. I guess he took Scotty’s comment about no room for group sex to heart. Because before Nora can stop him, Kevin is bidding on the house himself.

Going, going, GONE! The house (which if you ask me, is utterly hideous) is now Kevin’s, and Nora is furious he stole it out from under her. Not nearly as furious, I’d venture to say, as Scotty is going to be. Does Kevin really think Scotty wouldn’t have his own opinion about something as minor as where they freakin’ live!? This is a gay man we’re talking about. We’re picky about everything! I’m scared to put in a Chinese food delivery order without consulting my partner first, and Kevin’s going to go ahead and bring home a whole house? Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Back in the kitchen with Sarah, Kitty has moved on to criticizing the name “Greenatopia,” suggesting instead “Organica,” which sounds like a name from some porno flick set in the distant future. Paul pipes in that he thinks this is a capital idea.

Sarah is doing all she can to keep it together and not murder either of them. She goes to answer the door, telling them to keep an eye on the stove to make sure nothing burns. This leads Paul to reminisce about a Thanksgiving dinner that caught fire, making a comment about how “you wouldn’t believe how much grease can fly out of a flaming turkey.” Insert your own crude joke here about “the geeky queen who used too much lube.”

Sarah greets Scotty at the door and warmly congratulates him. Then Justin comes in, and Sarah tells him Paul is already there. She angrily adds, “You and I will be having words.” Heh. Poor Justin. Sarah will eat him alive.

Justin introduces Scotty to Paul, who congratulates him on his promotion, adding that he hasn’t eaten at Scotty’s restaurant since it’s too rich both for his stomach and his wallet. Heh. Even if we’ve seen a thousand disaster-dinner parties on this show, this already has the makings of a classic, and I find I’m actually looking forward to it. I’m just sorry they didn’t find a way to include Holly the way they usually do even if it makes no sense, and heck, why not throw in Warren, Lena, Trish, George Lafferty, and Kitty’s social worker for good measure.

In the kitchen with Sarah, Kitty suggests that she and Sarah and the wunderkinds all sit down and talk about how lousy her proposal is. Sarah snaps at her and tells her to quit eating all the cheese and ruining what was once a perfect platter.

Kitty figures out that Sarah isn’t really talking about cheese, but before Sarah can explain what her damage is, Paul, bless him, pops in yet again with a “Hey, ladies,” and a charming story about how his mother used to throw dinner parties just like this … because she was in the throes of depression after being dumped by her husband. Kitty tries to escape into the other room, but Paul, bless him, just follows right behind her.

Meanwhile, Nora finally arrives with Kevin, who immediately sets out to find Scotty. Nora starts guzzling wine, and when Sarah asks her what’s wrong, she explains what happened at the auction, saying she’d like to strangle Kevin. Sarah says if it’s any consolation, she’d like to strangle Kitty.

Paul comes over to compliment Sarah’s canapés, then sees Nora and introduces himself, explaining that Justin speaks about her all the time at their meetings. “You know we have similar taste in men,” he says. “I always go from one cheater to another.” Come on, you’re loving him as much as me, right? [Editor's note: Sally Field's expression here is classic. In fact, it's exactly the one I had when I heard California had gone for Obama and passed Proposition 8. I think I was even clutching a glass of wine. That I then threw.]