"Brothers & Sisters" Episode 310 Recap: "Just a Sliver"

You know how all the Christmas hoop-la seems to start earlier and earlier each year? I swear I had barely taken down all my Rosh Hashanah decorations when I spotted a bunch of Santas all covered in decorative snowflakes right on my street corner. Then again, that just might have been some winos with a bad case of dandruff. Regardless, I have a theory that it’s all the fault — like much evil in life — of the musical Mame. “We Need a Little Christmas Right This Very Minute” — um, no.

So it’s a welcome novelty to have B&S on a time delay that brings us a Thanksgiving episode a week late. At this rate, their special Martin Luther King Day episode (you know, the one where Robert tries to remove it from federal holiday status in favor of a national Sadie Hawkins Day) won’t air until Arbor Day at the earliest.

Of course, this is all an elaborate plot from the PTB at ABC to make me look bad, what with my having opened last week’s recap praising the show for sparing us a Thanksgiving episode only to have one show up in freakin’ December. But if that’s the price I have to pay for what turns out to be an absolutely outstanding episode like this one, then I can somehow find a way to live with the humiliation. [Editor’s note to self: Oops, I forgot to tell Steven the Thanksgiving episode was delayed. Find way to blame Dennis.]

We open at McCallister Ranch, where Kevin and Kitty are sitting side by side but worlds apart, immersed in separate phone conversations. Kevin is on some work-related call for Robert, who’s bizarrely hovering in the vicinity like a tweener waiting for news about who Brad’s taking to the dance, while Kitty’s ordering up chic baby merchandise. You just know she’s going to be one of those people you see pushing those monstrous humvee-like strollers along who think that owning said stroller gives them a “get out of my way” free card they can wield against all passersby unlucky enough to be standing between them and their next latte.

While Kevin’s determining what the Robertobot’s political positions should be, Senator Prettyboy himself is busily updating his Facebook page on his iPhone or something, because he starts talking about some IM from his kids about Thanksgiving.

Kevin assumes the McCallisters are all going to Nora’s, but Kitty tells him not this year. Kevin tells her that’s not possible, but she explains that they’ve got big plans with Robert’s “Uncle Jack,” by which she clearly means they’re planning on following Robert’s usual tradition of getting loaded on Jack Daniels.

Also, Kitty says they want to have time to explain to her step-kids about the impending adoption, and I can just imagine how much fun that dinner’s going to be once she gets done telling them how hard she’s working to get her own child who she and Robert will get to see — and love — much, much more than them.

Kevin’s upset, though, because he wasn’t planning on going to their mother’s house either. Kitty is shocked by this, although I find it hard to imagine that this is the first time he’s skipped out, like he’s never gone on one of those for-men-only, clothing-optional cruises specifically designed to get gay men an entire hemisphere away from their families during the holidays.

Kevin explains that Scotty spends all his Thanksgivings with his fabulous gay friends in Palm Springs, which you would too if Mrs. Scotty were the one cooking the holiday dinners. You can tell just from looking at her how bland her cooking is, which only makes sense given she’s on record as claiming garlic is the devil’s food and cumin made her son gay.

While Kitty and Kevin are quite firm in their plans, it turns out neither has had the balls yet to tell Nora they’re ditching her on Thanksgiving. Robert points out that she’ll have the rest of the family to keep her company, and they agree they’ll be fine. They even high-five over it, and unlike last week’s unfortunate white-boy fist-bumping, they actually can pull this off. Then they remember what show they’re on and realize there’s no way it can be that easy. So they rush to call Justin.