"Brothers & Sisters" Episode 310 Recap: "Just a Sliver"

They reach Justin at Rebecca’s, where for once, they’re not making out. In fact, we see Justin busily vacuuming her floor, and that’s not a euphemism. He really is vacuuming, and throughout this phone call she keeps whispering commands to him, giving us a rare glimpse of the non-sexual dynamics of their relationship where she clearly takes after her mother. And he takes after a dishrag. You can practically see Justin in a few years joining the ranks of those sad-sack spouses carrying their wives’ handbags around department stores and being forced to try on sweaters right over their shirts. They’re the Heteros of the Damned.

Kevin and Kitty casually try to confirm that Justin will be at Nora’s, which sends him into an instant state of panic, as he and Rebecca have a heated, entirely whispered consultation about not actually going. “I heard that!” Kevin barks. With Rebecca ordering him not to cave, poor Justin is left to explain that Rebecca wants to spend more time with Holly, and as her spineless boyfriend he has no choice but do her bidding.

Kitty: Let me tell you something … Kevin and I are going away with our husbands, and husbands trump boyfriends.

Yes, but himbo boyfriends with sexy stubble trump tightass husbands with no personality. Sorry, Kitty, it’s in the rules. Otherwise, though, I’m really liking the Kitty-Kevin dynamic these days. It’s clear how close they are, despite their squabbling. Although it would be nice to have an episode where, given her political affiliations, she more directly articulates her support of, and maybe even becomes an advocate for, gay marriage. That’s something I’d really be thankful for.

Anyway, Justin tries to grow a pair and announces that he and Rebecca are doing their own thing, end of discussion, and she rewards him with a frat-boy high-five. Then Kevin points out to Justin that he has yet to tell their mother, and this obviously terrifies him more than anything that happened in Iraq. You can actually see his newfound testosterone evaporating into the ether.

Cut to Julia and Tommy talking turkey. As in turkey-day plans. Tommy says he’d rather spend the holiday with her “disapproving parents” than with his “disapproving brother.” Goodness, looks like the Continuity Fairy visited this episode. Even though things have seemed fine between Tommy and Kevin, somebody’s actually remembered from three episodes back that it’s only because they decided to fake it.

Amidst the turkey talk, Julia mentions that baby Elizabeth has a fever. I’m sure it’s nothing and everything will be fine. TV shows are always giving babies high-grade fevers just for laughs, right?

Then the phone rings, and it’s Kitty, Kevin, and Justin, all “Tommy can you hear us?” They tell him that none of them are going to Thanksgiving, and he starts getting wishy-washy about possibly sticking around himself so as not to upset Nora. But Julia gets wind of this and grabs the phone, saying, “Listen WALKERS!” and lecturing her in-laws about how this one time they’re going to do things her way. Hilariously, they all stare at their phones in utter shock that this lackluster minor character who has spent most of this show standing around looking sleepy has the chutzpah to actually say something ballsy to them.