"Brothers & Sisters" Episode 311 Recap: "A Father Dreams"

Kevin gasps awake and he’s still in bed because it was all just a dream, and you were there and you were there and you and you, and the power to return home was always inside you, Kevin, just click your remaining internal organs together. But Kevin’s not in Kansas anymore, he’s someplace much, much worse … Maternal Care World.

It starts off pleasantly enough, with Scotty coming over and telling him that he looks good, all sweaty and moist like a “wounded World War II solider in an abandoned French cathedral,” something that’s apparently a fantasy of his. Leave it to Scotty to have such a whitebread sex fantasy, one apparently inspired by Snoopy and Woodstock.

But it’s sweet enough, until his mother-in-law has to come in and ruin it all before he gets to the erotic spongebath portion of the fantasy. Nora is in full-on mother hen mode, fussing all over Kevin’s care, starting with taking his temperature. And good thing for Kevin there’s one of those ear-thermometer thingies in the house, because you just know Nora would have no problem at all doing it the good old fashioned rectal way.

Nora pushes Scotty out of the way and then proceeds to order him around. And for good measure she mentions that she put on the baby monitor so she could listen to how Kevin is recuperating from downstairs. So naturally she heard all the gory details of Scotty’s Florence Nightingale fantasy, which will now forever be tainted by the sound of his mother-in-law saying, “Freeze! I want you to bring me the crème-colored linens!” Poor Scotty. Marrying into this family was clearly the death knell of his dignity, backbone, and libido.

Nora heads downstairs to get more fluids for Kevin, and runs into Robert and Kitty who have come to visit the patient. For this solemn occasion, Kitty is dressed in the world’s worst tailored women’s suit, like something she picked up from the Salvation Army on the way over for fear Kevin would bleed out all over her own clothes. Nora warns them that Kevin is supposed to rest up and not be taxed with whatever lame political bill Robert, as is typical, can’t seem to figure out which way he’s supposed to vote for himself.

In the kitchen, Justin is sitting with Saul, who somebody working on this show has finally figured out is supposed to be gay and has therefore made sure he’s started dressing and talking that way. So even though he’s unemployed, he’s dressed far more dapper than he ever did on the job, and he’s rhapsodizing over the interplay of shadow and light on some architect’s towers. Hilariously, he’s pointing these architectural wonders out to Justin, which must be something akin to teaching astrophysics to a dog.

Nora comes in and Saul tells her that, good news, he’s found a fantastic architect who’s willing to remake her Hell House into the Ronald McDonald House Rip-Off of her dreams. And even better, the guy is somebody they already know, the same architect who designed the Ojai building. Given what we’ve seen of that building in exterior shots, it’s no wonder Nora blanches at the idea — I’m guessing she was hoping for something a little nicer than a gussied up barn with skylights.