"Brothers & Sisters" Episode 311 Recap: "A Father Dreams"

Cut to the Walker Manor Post-Op Recovery Wing. Nora is carrying a tray up to Kevin, when the doorbell rings. She opens the door to find a handsome snooty Brit on her doorstep. It’s the famous Roger Grant, Ojai Architect Extraordinaire, and he seems like he’d make a perfect Watcher in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe, if that means anything to you.

Nora is all cold and frosty with him, but then Saul comes rushing in and practically bodyslams Nora out of the way in his eagerness to start fondling the hunk of British man-meat he so slyly procured for himself.

Nora says she’s got to get lunch upstairs to her sick son, but then Scotty comes in and says that Kevin’s taking a shower. Nora introduces everybody, and as Roger and Scotty and Saul stand there eyeing each other, I thought for half a second we were headed for a threeway, which … AWESOME! But the moment quickly passes. Sadly, this episode is all about Kevin’s dreams, not mine.

Outside, Justin is indeed sitting brooding, in that upscale sort of spoiled rich kid way that’s only possible with an iPod and some sort of sports utility vehicle. Kevin comes hunching over looking for all the world like the friendly neighborhood flasher, and finally gets Justin to notice him and let him into the jeep.

Kevin explains that he’s gone AWOL and wants Justin to give him a ride. But Justin is horrified to find out that Kevin didn’t even put on the water in the shower or lock the bathroom door to trick everybody into thinking he was showering all this time. Justin snarks that with such lame sneaking-around skills, it’s no wonder Kevin didn’t have any sort of a life in high school. I’m sure that being voted the faculty’s Most Trustworthy Hall Monitor didn’t win him any popularity contests either.

Justin is even angrier when Kevin admits he forgot to grab his medication on the way out. So he reluctantly goes on a stealth reconnaissance mission back into the Maternal Zone.

Meanwhile, back in the house, Saul is admiring the way the light hits Roger’s shafts. As they flip through his portfolio, Saul is as happy as a tweener in the presence of a Jonas Brother, but Nora makes it clear she is not impressed. Then Justin tries to sneak by, and Nora introduces him as her other son, leading Roger to snark about how all of Nora’s children are apparently still living at home.

Outside in the car, Kevin is now having dream flashbacks. This time, he’s thinking about everybody pointing and laughing at him.

He looks down at his stomach and realizes the reason for all the laughter is that he’s clearly been knocked up. And to think that Scotty swore that condom didn’t break.

As far as dreams fantasies go, this one is far more appealing to me than having sex with Julia. Because, as the real pregnant man has shown us, there’s no faster way to getting on the cover of People and a multi-million-dollar book deal. I’d say it’s worth the bloat and the morning sickness.