"Brothers & Sisters" Episode 417 Recap: "freeluc.com"

The title of this episode, “freeluc.com,” really scared me. There was something awfully “greenotopia” about it, a reminder of that awful Season 3 storyline that managed to make me hate the entire Internet.

But surprise! It turned out to be a fairly entertaining episode. Sexy! Timely! Political! And critical of conservative wing-nuts! What's not to love?

Once again, we open on Sarah and Luc basking in a post-coital happy haze, comfortably lounging around on besemened sheets in what is clearly a post-69 pose.

I still find all this straight sex on TV really gross — it’s just so unnatural! And will somebody think of the children?! The children! — but I’m happy for Sarah.

All she and Luc ever seem to do, really, is have sex. Whereas if it were me, I’d alternate the sex with calling my friends to brag about it.

Oh, and Sarah has these fantastic sheets that basically shout out, “I’m a strong divorcee who can totally bag a French hottie if I feel like it.” Because the sheets are this deep purple color. You know, the color of harlotry. And the Vatican.

Sarah remarks how funny it is that two little words said mid-sex can make it so much better. She’s thinking of “Don’t stop,” and he’s thinking of, “Je t’aime,” but if you ask me, nothing tops “Bring Oreos.”

Then they sadly reflect on how his visa will run out in only a matter of weeks, so they remain determined to live in the moment and eat even more Oreos.

Meanwhile, at Kevin and Scotty’s Fab Gay Pad, a newly out-of-work Kevin is sitting at his computer taking an online career aptitude quiz.

He groans to Scotty that the only things on the test that even interest him are "Teaching Inner City Youth" and "Tapping Maple Trees for Syrup." He’s disgusted that the test is suggesting things like "Managing a Political Campaign." And even less thrilled with suggestions for “Reality Show Contestant,” “Medical Test Subject,” and “Managing Paula Abdul.”

Kevin also seems to have become something of a recapper in his free time. Because he’s gone ahead and given himself and Scotty nicknames — “Leisure Boy” and “Bread Winner Man.” Watch it, Kevin — this is clearly better left to the professionals.

The nicknames, though, are apparently doing something for their libidos. Kevin mentions how great the sex was last night, and says he wants to give it a go again this morning. Because, he explains, having leisure sex is one of the advantages of being unemployed. I never thought of that before, but it totally makes sense. Why do you think they call it being “laid off”?

They’re just about to board the sexytime train, when the phone rings. It’s Sarah. Of course it is. Because Sarah seems to be on a dedicated mission to destroy Kevin’s sex life. You may remember that if it weren’t for Sarah, Kevin and Scotty would probably have about half a dozen threesomes under their belts by now, and likely graduated to foursomes.

Sarah is calling to beg Kevin for help with Luc’s immigration visa. Kevin tries to calmly explain that he’s already done all he can, which was basically calling an immigration attorney at his old firm.