"Brothers & Sisters" Episode 423: "Lights Out"

I was really looking forward to this second-to-last episode. Mostly because I was hoping the writers would kill Robert off a week early as a special gift to the fans.

No such luck. Instead, we open on a bunch of videotaped clips of talking heads being all sad and dramatic for the camera. And I start thinking, this better be some lost footage they found buried in the Ojai wreckage after the Cloverfield monster stomped through and ate them all.

Sadly, it turns out it’s just Paige videotaping her family for a school project.

Thwack. That sound you hear is me hitting my head against the keyboard. Because, seriously, is there any more tired plot device than somebody making a documentary and interviewing all the other characters?

Paige asks them each, “What does Ojai mean to you?”

THWACK!!! THWACK!!! [Pause to get tequila and Ding Dongs from the kitchen.] THWACK!!!!!!

First, Paige interviews Sarah, who tells her the whole charming history of Ojai. How Grandpappy Walker swindled that Mexican orphanage out of their land. How William made a fortune hawking tainted babyfood during the War. How she and Tommy made big bucks, simply by adding extra sodium and just a dash of cocaine to each can of creamed corn.

Next up … Kevin. Who recalls how his father only wanted to employ people with big balls, like Tommy and Sarah. And definitely not sissyboys like him, whose only use for Ojai was as a trysting spot with soon-to-be-paralyzed swim team opponents.

Yet Kevin remembers there was this one time when William needed some legal advice (something having to do with workers’ permits, or legal contracts, or maybe those old statutory rape charges, Kevin can’t quite remember), and he came to Kevin.

Kevin says it was the proudest moment of his life. Oh, groan. Overwritten much? That’s seriously the moment Kevin is most proud of? Not when he married his husband? Or bagged that studly army guy in the desert?

In his interview, Saul gets weepy, describing how as someone without kids or a spouse, he pretty much lived for his career. As usual, Ron Rifkin is so good here you’d think it was Shakespeare. (Although, to be honest, I did get a “Saul is going to kill himself to save the company” vibe during this scene that made me a bit queasy.)

But the best bit is when Paige interviews Holly. And she’s all, “Aren’t you the skank who gave grandpa crabs?” And Holly smiles and says, “Run along and play, dear. I hear the industrial shredder is perfectly safe.”