"Desperate Housewives" (6.18) Mini-Cap: Blink and You'll Miss Him

Highlights? Well, not quite. John Barrowman was on for a total of 2 minutes, 12 seconds.

Before that we had to endure the long, agonizing ordeal known as the "Chocolate War" between Gabrielle (Eva Longoria Parker) and the insufferable Susan (Teri Hatcher, who still plays every scene as if she's being poked with a cattle prod).

The ladies duke it out to see which of their kids can sell the most chocolate bars, so we get the inevitable scenes of Gabby in a low-cut dress at a construction site ... and Susan pretending her son is a paraplegic. Seriously, what is this woman's problem?

... before turning the gun on herself.

Of course it never occurs to either woman that it would make things a hell of a lot easier to just buy the damn chocolate themselves, but if that happened, it would deprive us of the "life lesson" that's learned, in which both women realize what true friendship is all about.

My question is ... why don't they ever remember these life lessons?

Hey, it's Twink Of Finland!

Lynette (Felicity Huffman) is having a tough time accepting her future golddigger-in-law. Obviously she doesn't understand that blond Russian tarts with perkies always overrule a mother's concern, and poor Lynette ends up borscht belted.

They're all going to laugh at you!