"Doctor Who" Finale Part 2: “The Stolen Earth”

We cut to scenes of everyone watching coverage of spaceships approaching Earth — Rose in the electronics store, Donna’s family in their home, Jack and the team in the Hub. Jack’s phone rings and he answers.

Jack: Martha Jones, voice of a nightingale. Tell me you put something in my drink.
Martha: No such luck.

Those two have such great chemistry, even on the phone. I really love them together, as long as it’s not romantically. Anyway, Martha tells him she’s in New York, and he gripes, “Oh, nice for some.” I’m guessing he’s remembering that bad vacation when he was forced to see Melanie Griffith in Chicago. Sontaran torture has nothing on that.

Martha brags about being promoted to “Medical Director on Project Indigo.” And I for one am relieved to finally hear something get a name on this show that doesn’t sound like an MIT doctoral thesis. “Project Indigo.” It’s got a nice, simple ring to it, no? Kind of like a trendy suburban couple talking about their plans to repaint the den.

Jack wonders if she managed to get Project Indigo working, and she gets all huffy about how he knows about a top-secret project. Jack mentions having met some soldier with loose lips in a bar.

Hearing this, Ianto pricks up his ears suspiciously and asks exactly when this was. Oh dear. As if we needed more evidence that Jack has what’s known around the universe as “Commitment Issues.” Ianto is so getting his heart broken if Torchwood every actually comes back on the air.

Jack tries to reassure Ianto that it was “strictly professional.” Yeah, I’m sure this guy was a “professional” of some sort and that, depending on what Jack felt like that night, “strict.”

At Sarah Jane’s, Mr. Smith reports he’s receiving a message from the earthbound spaceships. The message is the distinctive metallic tones of Daleks saying, “Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!” Ah yes, Daleks … excellent! And … Holy Crap!

We see Jack and Martha and Sarah, who all know very well who this message is from, reacting in absolute horror. Sarah Jane hugs Luke and cries, “You’re so young.” And it’s particularly distressing to see cool-as-a-cuke Jack suddenly paralyzed in fright, going, “No! Noooo!”

Jack grabs Ianto protectively and kisses him on the head. Awww.

Then he does the same thing with Gwen. Boo! Hey, Jack: instead of wasting time with her, I’d say the time is now to throw Ianto to the ground and shag like bunnies since it might very well be the last chance of your lives. Instead Jack says, “There’s nothing to be done. We’re dead.” He’s apparently so upset he’s completely forgotten he can’t die.

Jeez, what a bunch of Gloomy Gusses! As with the rush to declare something “impossible,” you’d think, given how they’ve each escaped some pretty serious odds before, they’d throw around a few ideas before instantly curling up to die.

At least Rose seems to have some plan in mind. She hears the Dalek message and calmly walks away from the electronics store, with a Dalek ship starting to zap buildings just behind her.