"Doctor Who" Finale Part 2: “The Stolen Earth”

The Doctor excitedly checks the TARDIS and comes out to report that he’s found the bees’ signal. But before he and Donna can leave, Goth Annie demands they turn over the TARDIS. She says that the Shadow Proclamation is declaring war on the hostiles who are behind the planet-snatching and they need the TARDIS to lead the way to them.

The Doctor says of course, just as soon as he gets them the keys (heh) — and runs back inside the TARDIS with Donna, slams the door, and hightails it out of there. Poor Goth Annie. It’s always the hard knock life for her.

Back on Earth, the Daleks are rounding up humans. One redshirt extra of course has to get all tough-guy about it and stand up to them, ordering his wife and kid back into the house and throwing a rock at the head Dalek. Not a good idea. The Daleks calmly proceed to zap their house to oblivion. What do you know? Turns out resistance is indeed futile.

Except Gramps is still planning on resisting, much to Sylvia’s horror. He’s got himself a paintball gun and is planning on using it to blind the Daleks right in the eyebeam. But when they soon run into an actual Dalek and he tries this ridiculous plan out, the Dalek pretty much crows, “My vision is not impaired” and prepares to exterminate them. Then it gets its head blown off. By Rose. Who we see standing behind the now-decapitated Dalek looking all badass with her bigass smoking gun.

Rose asks if they’re Donna Noble’s family and then introduces herself, explaining she needs their help. Back at the Noble House, Gramps tells Rose he hasn’t been able to contact Donna since she phoned from the Midnight planet. Rose isn’t thrilled by this news, saying that her only hope to find the Doctor was via Donna.

Out in space, Donna and the Doctor are happily TARDISing along the bee trail until they come to a dead stop. They’re someplace called the Medusa Cascade, home to a Cardiff-like rift in space and time. The Doctor fondly remembers visiting it back in the days he was a mere child of 90-years-old. I’ll bet Carol Channing says things like that all the time.

Unfortunately, the bee line ends there, and there’s no sign of the 27 missing planets. When Donna asks what they’re going to do next, the Doctor hasn’t got any answers. She starts to really lose it, screaming that he never gives up like this. And still, he’s got no answer.

We see the various former companions and their friends and family in total despair, watching coverage of the Daleks taking control of Earth and removing select humans for “testing.” And I don’t think they mean retaking the SATs, although that would also be pretty scary.

Then each of their computers begins a static-y transmission and they hear a woman’s voice trying to reach them. Jack dismisses it as yet another desperate soul trying to reach out. But then this matronly voice sternly reprimands him, saying “Captain Jack, shame on you. Stand to attention.” And I have a feeling nothing gets Jack junior to “stand” firm than being belittled by someone playing dom.

The image on the computer is clear now, and we see that it’s the pre-Master Prime Minister, Harriet Jones. Which she, of course, confirms by holding up her ID. I still don’t know if I’d take that as legit. I know tons of places in Times Square selling fake prime minister IDs, the ones all the cool kids use to sneak into those politician-only bars.