“Game of Thrones” Recap 104: It's the (Medieval) Island of Misfit Toys!

Hey, guess what? This is my fourth recap of this show, and I've been misspelling the title the whole time. It's Game of Thrones, not A Game of Thrones (which is the title of the book). D'oh!

So much for the Internet's amazing powers of self-correction.

But on to the episode in question...

I’ve mentioned before in these recaps that I really love the fantasy genre, but I confess: one fantasy trope that really, really bugs me is the idea that a character is so often (a) a king or (b) a humble peasant who is secretly the king but just doesn’t know it yet.

I just flat-out passionately hate the entire idea of royalty – the idea that certain people and families are simply born “special,” chosen by "God" to be better and more powerful and richer than everyone else. It’s obviously a relic of a completely ignorant, superstitious, pre-Enlightenment era, and it’s completely contrary to almost every principle I believe is important.

But more than anything, I hate the idea that it’s only kings and lords who can be heroes. Sure, I suppose a king could be a hero, but it sure didn’t happen very often in history. Mostly, they were a bunch of selfish, petty tyrants – literally! – with almost no regard for human life.

As much as I loved Star Wars, I’ve always hated that it seemed to be saying that you simply had to be lucky enough to be born “strong with The Force" in order to be destined for greatness. WTF? What about those of us who aren’t from families who are strong in the force – but who, you know, work hard and try really hard to do the right thing? We’re out of luck by virtue of our inability to move objects with our minds? We can't even apply for Jedi-ship?

F*** you, George Lucas!

Yeah, you can imagine how much fun I was a couple of weeks ago during the wedding of William and Kate. I'm not much better around friends' kids who want to be Disney princesses.

Hey, let's stop the whole world so we can watch these pampered rich kids get married!

Given all this, you can also imagine how much I liked this week’s episode of Game of Thrones, “Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things” – and how it reminded me how much I like A Song of Ice and Fire, the books this series is based on.

This is a fantasy story that is most decidedly not, or at least not entirely, told from the point-of-view of kings.

Indeed, for the most part, the kings (and would-be kings) here are selfish, petty tyrants – who knew? – and the really interesting, heroic characters are the misfits and rejects.

Just like in, well, REAL LIFE. Just as in the real world, people in Westeros mostly fall into two categories: the bullies and the bullied.

Can you guess which group I identify with?

We open on Tyrion, the “outcast” Lannister, who has stopped by Winterfell with a gift for the now-paraplegic Bran (who was made that way by Tyrion’s sister and brother, though Bran can’t yet recall this): a design for a saddle that Bran can use to ride a horse, despite his disability.

Is this part of some greater plot typical of the Lannisters, or is Tyrion just being nice, relating to Bran because they’re now both rejects? (Hey, don’t look at me for an answer! I’m just the recapper!)

Next we have an exposition scene where Tyrion talks to Theon Greyjoy, that guy who’s been hanging around Winterfell, but who isn’t one of Ned’s five children: he’s Ned’s “ward,” an heir to one of the thrones of the Seven Kingdoms (he was actually kidnapped by Ned when he was ten-years-old and raised at Winterfell, but that’s too much exposition even for this show). And like Jon Snow, and maybe Cousin Oliver on The Brady Bunch, he’s been a part of the castle, but never quite one of the family.

Cousin Oliver Theon Greyjoy

Next Page! Does having a name like "Samwell" in a fantasy story mean you must be fat?