“Torchwood” Episode 104 Recap: "Cyberwoman"

Lisa throws Dr. Tanizaki on the metal gurney that once held her. She clamps his wrists to the cuffs while two probes lock into his temples. Things do not bode well for the doctor.

Dr. Tanizaki: Lisa, let me go!
Lisa: [in a funny, machine voice] I can help you. The human race is weak. I can make you strong.

Lisa pushes a button and a large hatch in the ceiling opens. The world's biggest Swiss Army knife (or scariest dental tools; take your pick,) lowers from the ceiling and heads straight for poor Dr. Tanizaki. How Ianto built all this crap in the storage room within Torchwood without anyone noticing is a testament to his stealthy nature and thorough understanding of the procurement process.

All the shenanigans in the basement are causing a power drain upstairs — Tosh is the first to notice. Jack orders her to do a system-wide diagnostic. Before Tosh can say "Do it yourself," Ianto steps in and claims the generators have been flaky all day. He offers to take a look so that Tosh won't dig any deeper.

Ianto scrambles downstairs, only to find Dr. Tanizaki flat on his back with a nut in his eye. You heard me.

Actually, Dr. Tanizaki is on the floor, covered in blood. He's dead. Lisa stands over him motionless.

Ianto: [frantically] Oh my God! What happened?
Lisa: [calmly] His upgrade failed.

I heart Lisa.

Ianto: Was it an accident? Tell me you didn't do this!
Lisa: I wanted to repay him for helping me by removing the weaknesses of his humanity.
Ianto: What have you done? You've killed an innocent man!
Lisa: It's all right.
Ianto: It's not all right! They're going to come looking for me any minute! If they see the body, if they find out what we've been doing…

Ianto tells himself Lisa didn’t mean it. It's a bug in her program. It's post-traumatic stress disorder. It's a side effect of her condition. Personally, I think her metal Wonder Bra is too tight. In any event, she's doesn't seem to love him anymore. She's using him for his awesome and plentiful electrical outlets. Bitch.

Ianto is freaking out. "If you harm anyone else…" but he can't finish his sentence because he's too in love with his Amazonian Killer Fembot. Ianto drags Dr. Tanizaki away and locks Lisa in her room, putting her in time out. Bad Fembot. Bad.

Intruder alert — Upstairs, the team has identified the UFO as a harmless sight-seeing alien vessel. They send it a message to please go away, they're scaring the earthlings. Gwen wants to know why they don't investigate some more. Jack says he knows their type: boring, chatty and being made mostly of liquid, messy. I want to know why Gwen is a cracker jack cop one week and a complete ninny the next.

The lair's power is still unstable, thanks to Lisa getting another fix down in the basement. Jack asks Ianto for an update on the generator switch. Tosh sees the power drain coming from the storage room downstairs.

She also detects two human heat signals. If one is Ianto's, who is the other? Olivia Newton John's missing boyfriend, perhaps?

Jack assumes their security's been beached and calls for battle protocols. He opens the weapons locker and starts doling out the fire power. "Any doubt, shoot first," he commands. The mission is to find Ianto. But shoot first.

It's a good thing Gwen got a lesson on how to shoot a gun last week, because she's shoulder to shoulder with Owen, slowly creeping up on the door to the storage room. They approach slowly, their wireless comms cutting in and out due to the power drain. Although the walls down in Torchwood's labs are four feet thick, Gwen's cell phone seems to work fine; maybe they should just call her like Rhys does every half hour.