I'm not dead yet — Eugene Jones is lying in the middle of the road staring at the sky. After a moment, he stands up and looks around, confused as to how he got there. The same thing happened to me over the weekend, I swear to God.

Wandering past a policeman and some crime scene tape, he calls out to Gwen, Jack and Tosh, who are working an accident scene. They ignore him and concentrate on a lifeless body, which lies face down in the embankment. Owen's not with them this afternoon because he's somewhere having a three-way with two flight attendants from Virgin Atlantic.

As Eugene moves closer, he sees the dead man looks awfully familiar. He realizes he's looking at himself. Listening to the Torchwood team talk amongst themselves, he also realizes they're talking about him.

Tosh: Couldn't even cross the road without messing it up.
Gwen: No bag, nothing. I mean, what was he doing here? Perhaps he was hit deliberately? Maybe he really did have something important?
Tosh: Like what?
Gwen: I dunno. He was always trying to talk to us, show us stuff…

Groupies. What are ya gonna do? For a top secret organization, Torchwood doesn't do a very good job of being under the radar. Then again, without the fine citizens who cover their windows with tin foil, crazy-person style, and report UFO sightings to Torchwood once a week, Tosh wouldn't have any pen pals.

Eugene wonders aloud if he's dead. Well, let's see. You're talking, but being ignored. That probably happens to you as a rule. What else? There's blood coming out of your ears and your left foot is pointing the wrong way. You just reached out to touch Tosh and your hand went right through her shoulder. Yeah, I think it's safe to say only Oda Mae Brown can hear you now.

Just then, Eugene's cell phone rings. Tosh picks it up and says, "Yes?" A woman starts speaking and Tosh hands the phone to Gwen. It's for you. Gwen interrupts the caller, Eugene's mother, to tell her the tragic news of her son's demise.

Except, Eugene hasn't fully demised. He follows the team back to their SUV, wondering in his head if he's a ghost or a zombie or just a really boring fellow no one notices. His schedule suddenly cleared for all eternity, he climbs into the SUV with everyone else, determined to listen in on their investigation and take a joy ride in the infamous Torchwoodmobile.

Jack tells Gwen to check Eugene's cell phone for clues, even though a traffic accident doesn't exactly smack of alien mischief. She finds several stored images of people's feet. Okay, there's that. Sitting in the back seat, Eugene looks happily at Gwen, even though she can't see him. It's Take Your Groupie to Work Day for Torchwood; they just don't know it.

The short, dull life of Eugene Jones- Eugene recalls his life for us because being dead makes you nostalgic. A mathletic nerd who loved quadratic equations and binary codes the same way other boys love Xbox, young Eugene's most humiliating moment was the day he choked at a math competition and cost his school the championship.

Noticing how despondent he is, a kindly science teacher tries to cheer Eugene up by showing him a rock. Not just any rock, mind you. A rock that fell from the sky. Eugene is intrigued. He looks at it and realizes it's looking back at him. It's not a rock at all — it's an eye the size of a golf ball.