Torchwood Episode 206 Recap: "Reset"

Jack explains that Dr. Jones is from UNIT, the red-cap-wearing “acceptable face of intelligence-gathering on aliens.” Torchwood, he says, is off the radar but also “better looking.” Nice try at motivating the troops, but other than himself, Ianto on a good day, and Bizarro “Low-Cut Blouse and Stilettos” Tosh from last week, there’s sadly little evidence to support that assessment.

Jack: Come on, Martha, be honest. You came all this way just to see me.
Martha: Still working to conquer your shyness, Jack?

He laughs, and his enthusiasm at having someone around who isn’t moody, needy, arrogant, or catastrophically incompetent is absolutely palpable. And the more the Hubbies sense the special connection he shares with Martha, the more you can detect their barely concealed hostility and resentment. I love it.

Anyway, it turns out that Martha’s been tracking a series of deaths with similar characteristics as their current dead guy. While nothing unites the victims in terms of age, sex, or occupation, they all died suddenly from something that appears like toxic shock. Oh, and there’s one other minor detail … She opens the dead guy’s eyelid and shows them all a puncture mark right on his eyeball. Ewww. Is it just me or has this season been particularly icky? Who’s calling the shots around here these days? Rob Zombie?

Martha says that if they test the victim’s bloodstream they’ll find it’s full of ammonium hydroxide, and Owen is all, “Yeah I was about to do that.” And then Martha asks if they’ve checked the victim’s medical records, and Owen is all, “Yeah I was about to do that.” So Martha says, “Let’s get to it. You never know, Owen, you might learn something.”

Yes! Make him feel like crap! I hope Tosh is enjoying this, even if she’s also seething with jealousy over his latest object of ogling.

When they check the health department database, they discover that all of the victims have been deliberately deleted. Dunt dunt dunnn. The plot thickens.

Alone in his office, Jack and Martha talk over old times, about her family and being “end of the world survivors.” These references are starting to become so omnipresent it’s like this entire episode is just one big infomercial for the Dr. Who boxed set.

For the Who-heads, it’s all delicious Raxacoricofallapatorius manna, or R.M. for short, as all Dr. Who references from here on out will be designated. For those of you who don’t get these, feel free to consult my Dr. Who recaps, which will be done just as soon as I slip into the Rift, go back five years, and start writing them. Otherwise, try Wikipedia.

Jack asks if she misses the Doctor, and at first she says no, then admits she does (R.M.™). I’d think she and Tosh would really hit it off, what with both being members of the “Hopelessly Devoted to You” club. Martha says she’s glad to see Jack again, and he teases that he knew she came back just for him, boasting, “It’s the jawline … once seen, always yearned for.”

Actually, it’s not the jawline, Jack, it’s the pantyline. Although that might depend on who’s doing the yearning and on what part of the anatomy their eyes tend to focus.

Then they chat about her “highfalutin’” new UNIT job as a medical officer. Jack wonders if he’ll have to follow orders from her and call her “mum.” To quote that adorable little scamp from Temple of Doom, “You call her Doctah Jones, doll.”

Martha says she got the primo position at the recommendation of the Doctor, likely as a thank you for world-saving services rendered (R.M.™). Gee, a job with lousy hours, constant danger, and no room for personal relationships. Some thank you. But there’s one really cool part of the job that Jack asks her about …

Jack: Do you think you can get me one of those red caps? For personal use? I’m thinking Ianto might look good in it.

Aww, Jack likes dressing up his hot young boy toy. That’s so Demi Moore of him.

Jack escorts Martha on a tour of the Hub, taking her to the rarely seen Torchwood grow house where they’re clearly working on their latest crop of alien-strength weed. Gwen takes advantage of the moment to get Martha off in a corner alone, asking her about how well she knows Jack. Meowww! Cat fight coming! Better watch out, Martha, this one’s always in heat.

Martha glosses over the truth and says they were together for “a few days” but it was “pretty intense,” which I’m certain only fuels the jealousy fires even more given it sounds like they had one of those long, steamy weekends in Miami filled with mind-blowing sex. Martha finally realizes what Gwen is really asking her, and says, “Oh God! No! No! No!”

Gushing with relief, Gwen gets all sorority-sisterly with her new BFF, who jokes about them being the only people on the planet who haven’t done Jack. “I wonder what we’re doing wrong,” Gwen says. It’s just a guess, but ya think being engaged to somebody else might have something to do with it?