Torchwood Episode 206 Recap: "Reset"

TW HQ. Tosh keeps trying to hack into the Pharm system without any luck. But Ianto’s done his own research and determined that the Pharm is in the market for guinea pigs. They consider sending someone in undercover, and Martha suggests a medic would know exactly what to look for. Owen points out he can’t go since he’s been there already, and Martha says, “I know it’s hard to believe, Owen, but I wasn’t thinking of you.”

Jack says, “No way,” but she reminds him she’s “been in worse places and you know it” (R.M.™). With all these cryptic references they keep making about past experiences in front of the team, I’m reminded of the fact that, other than the very first episode of this season, none of them have demonstrated the slightest curiosity about where he was when he went AWOL.

Wouldn’t you think they’d be speculating around the watercooler all the time about what wild thing Jack was up to, like maybe he was living in the Old West galaxy as a gay cowboy named Slappy? Or had done something really crazy and went off to write an autobiography about his years in musical theater and fondness for fart jokes?

Ianto shows Martha the plans of the Pharm and goes over basics of her assignment. He’s clearly envious of her closeness with Jack, and as much as she tries to lighten things up with comic asides, he keeps giving her an icy cold shoulder. Meowww! Cat fight coming! Watch out, Martha. Lately this one prefers licking hairballs to mating with females.

But Martha’s no fool and knows exactly how to win him over, mentioning that Jack asked her to get him a red cap. He grins, saying, “Did he? Well, red is my color.” I think someone needs to break the news that owning a red hat doesn’t automatically make one a Red Hat Lady.

Martha: So am I right in thinking that you and he …
Ianto: We … dabble.
Martha: Yeah? So what’s his dabbling like?
Ianto: Innovative … Bordering on the avant-garde.

Hence the need for stopwatches, measuring tape, and God knows what other office supplies. And by the way, I think “dabbling” at this point is sadly an all too appropriate word for the way this show’s been treating Janto lately. I’m getting a tad bit peeved with all these cutesy, wink wink intimations of bedroom bacchanalias while we haven’t even seen a peck on the cheek in weeks. And yet we somehow get Rhys-Gwen bedroom pyrotechnics.

Now as chummy as old girlfriends, Ianto gets Martha set up with a fake ID for “Samantha Jones,” Jones being a safe last name since everybody in the Dr. Who universe apparently shares it. They also outfit her with these contact lenses that let them see whatever she sees and also send her text messages that appear on her field of vision. This is pretty much the coolest thing I’ve ever seen on this show and maybe on TV ever. If I had these, the first thing I’d do would be go on Jeopardy and have somebody like Tosh text me all the answers.

The only problem is once they’ve introduced technology like this, it makes you wonder why they haven’t been using it all the time. Surely there were other missions where this thing might have come in handy? Like, oh, sending an innocent civilian into an alien manatee slaughterhouse?