Torchwood Episode 208 Recap: “A Day in the Death”

Owen enters the dark house, walking right by the heat sensors and announcing, “I’m literally too cool for school.” Literally, dude, you’re nowhere near a school, so let’s back off the hyperbole just a bit. And I’m also praying we’re not going to be in for weeks of these kinds of Arnold Schwarzenegger/Mr. Freeze “ice to see you” groaners.

Owen works his way through the house as the generator and the lights come back on. He’s starting upstairs, when another guard at the top sees him and points a gun. Owen just keeps moving forward, claiming the guy won’t shoot him, which is a pretty insane strategy given what happened the last time he approached a guy insisting he wouldn’t shoot. When Owen gets close to the guy, we get a repeat of the earlier encounter with Big Goon, with Owen going all “Booga! Booga! Dead guy coming at ya. Scaaaary!” long enough to stun the guy so he can grab his gun and clock him.

For extra dramatic emphasis, he says, “I’m Dr. Owen Harper, and I’m having one hell of a day.” Again with the introducing himself. It’s like he’s planning on joining some zombie support group and keeps trying out how he’ll greet everybody.

He works his way around upstairs, through the official Parker Collection Alien Artifact Exhibit Room, and ultimately into Parker’s bedroom, which is done up part Disney princess style, and part “Boy in the Plastic Bubble.” Parker is lying in a canopied bed with all this medical machinery all around, and as Owen works his way in, announces that he’s been watching Owen the whole time on his CCTV.

Parker says, “You’re Torchwood, yes?” evidence that even an elderly recluse who hasn’t left his home in over two decades knows all about their so-called covert organization.

Given that we’ve also been seeing Owen yammering away on the roof about company secrets to a total stranger, I’m wondering if at some point the famous Torchwood Board of Directors sent out a memo saying that the former policy of absolute secrecy and widespread Retconning was rescinded, and now employees are encouraged to inform as many members of the public as possible about their procedures and goals, all the better to get them to buy tickets to the annual Torchwood Fundraising Gala and vote “Yes” on a new zoning proposal to expand the Hub.

Parker goes on to demonstrate just how much he knows about the Hubbies …

Parker: They should have sent that Japanese girl. I like her … Is she on your phone thing? Helloooo? Just want to say you’ve got very lovely legs. You should show them off more.

Why do TV shows and movies always think it’s hilarious to have old people, when they’re not doing rap songs, acting all frisky? It skeeves me out. But Tosh is so desperate for a kind word from a man, any man, she just beams with pleasure.

Parker starts coughing like crazy, and Owen asks what’s wrong with him. He explains that he’s had three heart attacks and a failed bypass, but is fine because he has this … And he proudly takes out what appears to be a glowing red bicycle helmet. “It’s called The Pulse,” he says, adding that it’s keeping him alive.

Owen scans it and breaks the news that the helmet isn’t transferring any energy to Parker at all. The only thing keeping him going is “Hope.” And after last week’s bit about “Faith,” I can’t help but wonder where this little girl “Hope” has disappeared to.

Owen also explains to Parker that energy is building up inside the device and it could explode and cause untold damage. But Parker isn’t letting go so easily. The two of them proceed to act out an endless two-character performance of As I Lay Dying. The gist of it is that Parker is afraid of dying, but Owen is an expert on it. Parker says, for example, that he’s afraid of the darkness and of being alone, and Owen helpfully points out he’s already alone and in the dark.