Torchwood Episode 211 Recap: “Adrift”

Auditorium. Gwen and Andy enter and are greeted by a clearly disappointed Nikki, who’d been hoping her support group might be attended by people who could actually provide support.

Andy tries to reassure her that “if you build it, they will come,” and is met by blank stares from the two women. So he explains that it’s from Field of Dreams, and you can hear crickets in the deafening silence that follows. Poor Andy. It’s true that that movie is more of a guy’s movie — What’s the male equivalent of a “chick flick” anyway? I’d say it’s a “dick flick,” but to me that means any movie starring Adam Sandler — but I’d think Nikki and Gwen would at least have heard of it.

Gwen and Andy sit down, and Andy whispers he thinks it might only be the two of them. Right on cue, another couple comes in looking for the support group. They’re followed by a guy in a turban, which is international TV/movie code for “diversity.” Like any time there’s a natural disaster, some guy in a turban has to be one of the victims to communicate to us that mother nature — or in this case, the rift — is so non-discriminating it will even mess with people of color in traditional dress.

Nikki offers newcomers food and drink, and while I think it’s nice she’s provided refreshment, it astonishes me that she’s serving in china cups and saucers. Seriously, she shlepped actual china cups to this meeting that she’ll then have to cart home and wash? Doesn’t this poor woman have enough problems as is? But word must have gotten out around Cardiff that some crazy woman is giving out free food and serving it up on china because pretty soon the entire auditorium is filled with people.

Gwen goes outside, followed by Andy who wants to know if she’s all right. She says it’s become too many people for her to help, once again demonstrating how all that talk about her being the “caring one” is a crock of Weevil droppings. Andy advises her to focus on Jonah, since the others aren’t part of the investigation. This leads Gwen to a “Eureka” brainstorm of something that’s laughably obvious to all the rest of us, namely that if she can find a pattern among these victims she might be able to figure out what happened to Jonah. And then she dashes off.

The Hub. Gwen gives Tosh a listing of missing persons in Cardiff from the past ten years so she can cross-reference them with flaccid rift activity. She tells Tosh not to inform Jack about any of it until they’re sure.

We cut to a montage of Tosh and Gwen going about their investigation. Most of it consists of shots of them typing, shuffling papers, and sucking on one particular pen, but it’s heavily edited and set to this urgent techno-music that makes it seem like they’re on the verge of curing cancer.

The most hilarious part is that someone’s gone to the trouble of printing up these official-looking but totally bogus cards for each missing person that not only have check boxes for “Negative Rift Spike” but bar codes. What the heck do they need bar codes for? Is Gwen planning on scanning people on some giant supermarket conveyer belt she’s having installed at the Hub?

The montage finishes off with Gwen standing in the middle of a room that’s covered in pictures and stats about Cardiff missing persons, just like that scene in A Beautiful Mind where Russell Crowe stands in the center of a room filled with his insane math ramblings. God I hated that movie.

Tosh comes in and her jaw drops. She says she’s surprised to see there are so many, but I think it’s more that she’s wondering who’s going to clean up all this mess and why Gwen couldn’t have come up with a more orderly way of tracking people than randomly fun-tacking them to the walls of the Hub. Gwen says it’s time to tell Jack.

The Bored Room. Gwen presents their findings, explaining to Jack and the rest that there is an “epidemic of missing persons” in Cardiff, courtesy of their friend the rift. Jack compliments her on her good work but then says it’s pretty much a waste of time since there’s nothing they can do about it. Gwen is having none of this logical thinking …

Gwen: Jack, we have a duty here. These people are victims of the rift. If they’d been attacked by a Weevil …
Jack: Weevils we can catch. If there are victims, we fix their wounds. But this, we don’t know when it’s going to happen. We don’t know where they end up. Seriously, Gwen. Practically. Tell me what we should do.

Gwen suggests they try to help the victims’ families, and Owen argues, rightfully I think, that it’s not their role to be counselors. She keeps putting up a fuss, and Jack keeps arguing with her, and everyone else in the room, Ianto in particular, looks like they’d prefer to be several galaxies away from the little scene she’s making.

Jack orders her to “close this down,” and dashes off. Ianto gets up to follow him, telling Gwen, “I’ll talk to him,” sounding like he and Jack are the parents and Gwen’s the daughter who’s disappointed Daddy by getting her tongue pierced or announcing she’s joining the Peace Corps. Tosh and Owen dash out after them, so Gwen sits and sulks at the conference table, watching as Jack and Ianto have some sort of argument in the hallway.