Torchwood Episode 211 Recap: “Adrift”

Jack, though, is all business and wants to know what Gwen wants. She says she’s going to take on the Jonah search as her own special project. Jack tells her no way, and even though she tries to persuade him, he closes off all further discussion.

Then he invites Ianto to rejoin him in the back room for more “work.” A still horny Ianto can’t help but follow him, although he stops for a moment to tell Gwen there’s a package on her desk.

Back at the Sopranos’ Café, Gwen shows Andy the device she’d found on her desk. She tells him to be careful since it’s “high tech stuff,” and he laughingly points out it’s a GPS, a “glorified map” that’s about as high tech as a mobile phone. I know this kind of thing shouldn’t surprise me any more, but how is it possible that she worked on the police force and doesn’t know what a GPS is?

Andy shows her how the GPS works, and points out that it’s specifically marking an island in the channel that, as far as he knows, is deserted. She sends him off to fetch tea, then calls Ianto at the Hub to ask why he left her that package and what’s going on. Ianto can’t answer, though, because Jack is bellowing for him in the background, I’m guessing because it’s time for a round of naked “Duck Duck Goose.”

Ianto hangs up on her, just as Andy comes back with their tea. Andy says that he knows how to get them a boat to take them to the island.

Gwen doesn’t want him along, but he tells her she has to bring him if she wants him to secure the boat. She agrees, and then Andy asks her if she’d put in a good word for him at Torchwood if there’s ever a job opening. I’m sure he figures his chances are good, given their hiring standards are so low they’ve already employed a woman who’s not only never seen a GPS but can’t even hire a boat for herself.

Chez Gwys. Gwen comes home to find the bedroom door shut and a blanket and pillow waiting for her outside. Guess Rhys is still pissed off at her for stealing his toast that morning.

The next morning, Gwen meets up at the docks with Andy, who’s secured them a boat. She yet again sends him off to fetch tea, like her highness can’t be bothered to get her own bloomin’ tea, and he actually does it. I think even Rhys used to have bigger balls than this. While he’s gone, she bribes the skipper to take her out on the boat alone.

Andy returns to find the boat pulling away and Gwen shouting out her apologies. The remarkable thing to me is that while running along the dock screaming at her, he carefully holds on to both cups of tea the entire time, whereas I’d be flinging them at her deceitful, backstabbing head.

Gwen makes like Barbra “she who proudly stands alone at the prow of some boat or back of some train in every movie” Streisand and stands on the boat enjoying her ride to Mystery Island.

Once there, the boat drops her off and leaves, and I question the wisdom of her so easily dispensing with the one way she has of making a quick getaway off the island should things not go well. Does she think she can hail another boat the way you would a taxi?

On Mystery Island, Gwen makes her way up to a lighthouse and climbs the spiral stairs to the top. This episode is getting to be less X Files and more Nancy Drew by the minute, and yes I did read Nancy Drew as a kid, do you want to make something of it? At least unlike The Hardy Boys, every mystery didn’t involve smuggling.

Gwen looks out the lighthouse windows and sees two people leading a third figure along with a blanket over his head, the way you typically see rap stars on TV after they’ve been arrested. They head into some underground bunker. And just behind them? Gwen’s mate Mulder himself, the ubiquitous Captain Jack. Maybe there’s a cute coffee shack he likes to frequent on Mystery Island?