Torchwood Episode 213 Recap: “Exit Wounds”

Meanwhile, back at the Hub, Jack gasps back to life, and a season’s worth of Jesus allusions now reach their logical conclusion with the sight of Jack strung up and chained in a crucifixion pose.

Jack: This is a little extreme, don’t you think?
Spike: What … suddenly you’re anti-bondage?
Jack: Why are you here?
Spike: Well, see, now you’re interested in me. It’s always the same. Nobody cares until you tie them up.

While I appreciate all the saucy dialogue and intimations of kinky sex, this scene really bugged me. Actually, I should clarify that — it bugged me the first time I saw it, because with all Spike’s talk of how he wants Jack to notice him and spend time with him, I thought we were getting a case of that old stereotype of the gay psycho crush, and I couldn’t believe a show that strives to be so progressive about sexuality would stoop to that.

But here’s a little recapper trade secret — I know what this is leading up to because I’ve already seen this entire episode. It’s true! It might seem like I’m typing this while I’m watching and being this witty on the spot, but I actually watch each episode a few times before recapping (and I still somehow manage to miss stuff or mistake stuff, which is why I truly do appreciate people who post corrections).

Anyway, knowing what’s going to happen makes rewatching this scene pretty amazing because so many of Spike’s lines take on double meaning — and James Marsters brilliantly plays the scene in a way that shows he’s well aware of this. If you haven’t seen the episode yet, then you don’t quite know what I mean. But if you’ve already seen it, then you’ll see exactly why an exchange like this is now extra meaningful:

Jack: Where’s Gray? What have you done with my brother?
Spike: You don’t realize — actions, ramifications, ripples in a pond. It’s beyond my control.
Jack: Beyond your control? Please.
Spike: It is. You need to understand that.

Spike proceeds to monkey with some Hub wiring, and Jack yells at him to stop. So Spike plays with his all-purpose wristband to yank Jack’s chain, not in the saucy, kinky way, but in the shockwaves-sent-via-his-chains way. It seems pretty nasty, but it’s followed by another double-edged exchange where Jack says he’s going to stop him, and Spike says, “Go on, then. Stop me. I hope you can. Really.” And the thing is, he really does hope this, although it’s only apparent on a second viewing.

Spike drags Jack up to the top of some castle claiming it’s for the view. Then he contacts the other Hubbies at their various spots around the city, saying, “Attention, Torchwood employees.” Ianto demands he put Jack on right now, and Spike snarks, “Eye candy! That was so masterful, so bossy … so basically powerless.” And Ianto, reacting the way all gay men do when forced to spend time with their boyfriend’s exes, rolls his eyes in a way that reads, “I can’t stand this guy. What did Jack ever see in him?”

Spike orders everybody to go the roofs of their respective buildings, and this is just adding salt to their wounds; it’s bad enough that during the past day they’ve already been in a building explosion, buried in rubble, forced to re-live their own backstories, and neutralized various alien threats, but now they have to climb all those stairs? Will this horror never end?

They all get to their rooftops, and Owen’s the big winner because while all the others have these unremarkable city views, he’s got a lovely view of the ferris wheel all lit up. I also think it would have been funny if he got to the top and found poor Maggie Hopley (a.k.a. Roofie from “A Day in the Death”) still planning to jump, and she could have been all, “You again? Bloody hell.”

Telling everyone to take a good look before it’s all gone, Spike pushes a button on a flashing box, setting off a series of explosions. Jack accuses Spike of destroying the city, which is a bit drama queenish of him because, while there has been a bit of damage, there’s still plenty of city left and the worst that’s happened so far is a bunch of car alarms going off.

Then Spike asks Jack to hold him, and goes over to grab him in an embrace, saying it’s going to be OK. Jack tries to push him away with a, “Get off me!” and the expression on both their faces during this little exchange is just priceless. A light starts glowing around them and they go “poof.”

Meanwhile, Gwen paces her roof and talks to the rest of the team on coms. They realize Jack isn’t responding, and Tosh reports a major rift flare on top of the castle where he was last heard from. She also describes the state of the city, how explosions have cut off escape routes and crippled communications networks, and Owen adds that the hospital is without any power. Ianto breaks the news that the systems serving the Turnmill nuclear plant are also down, and Gwen orders them to go to the plant and stabilize it.

Then Gwen makes a speech about how they’re going to put the city back together, find Jack, and punish Spike, and while it’s great to have a motivational speech in a moment of crisis, it might have been nice for her to make it while climbing downstairs so she could actually start helping people instead of standing around the roof, like has she never heard of multi-tasking?

Speech completed, Gwen stands around some more, so she can carry out the urgent task of talking to herself out loud, asking, “Where are you Jack?”