Ugly Betty Episode 201 Recap: “How Betty Got Her Grieve Back”

In the middle of this highly personal family meeting, in walks Elaine Klein to help herself to more wine, saying, “Don’t mind me. I’m not even here.” I must say I really like the Kleins. They seem like a fun couple, and anyone who drinks in the middle of the afternoon is OK by me.

Amanda says she doesn’t think she can ever trust her parents again, grabs a handful of candy, and storms out. Marc, ever the polite friend parents just love, so long as he’s not dating their daughter — or their son, for that matter — says, “Nice to see you again. You have a lovely home.”

Back at the hospital, Daniel sits in a wheelchair outside Alexis’ room, thinking to himself how lucky Rebecca Romijn is for getting this cushy episode where she gets full pay for lying around with her eyes closed. He stops a paparazzi (What’s the singular of that word, anyway? Paparazzo?) who looks an awful lot like Six Feet Under’s Freddy Rodriguez, reportedly Betty’s new love interest this season. Hmmmm.

Then Nurse Exposition asks Daniel why he won’t just go in and visit his sister already, since he’s been coming up to the window every day. I’m wondering why she’s making such a big deal, since he can stare at a lifeless coma patient just as easily from there, but whatever.

Mode Elevator. “I don’t know who I am any more,” Amanda wails to Marc. She’s also upset because Fey walked by her desk every day and never acknowledged her. Gee, Mandy, maybe that’s because you’re never actually at your desk. Like who was minding Mode reception during this little jaunt to Westchester anyway?

Marc says that maybe trying to find her biological father will help. “But he could be anybody,” Amanda says. Right on cue, old man Bradford gets in the elevator, and Marc’s eyes widen as he observes how he and Amanda both do the Emily Van Camp lip-pouty thing and the Carol Burnett ear-tugging thing.

In my office, we have designated privacy rooms where people can go to breastfeed, have nervous breakdowns, or be fired. Marc and Amanda have Fey’s love dungeon, where Marc is sharing his theory about Amanda’s paternity, leading to the funniest dialogue of the episode:

Amanda: If Bradford is my father, that makes Daniel my brother, who I slept with! A lot! That’s the kind of dirty that don’t wash clean.
Marc: OK, first of all, he’d be your half brother. Already a little better, right? And second, I’ve gotta say it’s kinda hot.
Amanda: It’s incest!
Marc: Before you get all Flowers in the Attic on me, let’s first find out if Bradford really is your Dad.
Amanda: And how are we going to do that? Invite him to Father’s Day brunch and see if he shows up?
Marc: No, Sarcasma. Three words. D. N. A.

Cut to Betty walking down a New York City street that’s not New York City even a little bit. She’s wearing an eyepatch she got at the hospital after her magazine-cover face plant, and talking on the phone with my least favorite storyline from last year, her father, stuck in a tiny crappy set meant to signify “Mexico,” looking like he’s in a one-man Samuel Beckett play where he never leaves the couch.

Betty’s promising to figure out a way to get him home when she gets another call from one Lisa Lupiera, who looks like she’s visiting from The Sopranos. She’s Justin’s camp counselor calling to say Justin took off: “Apparently the Indian dreamcatchers we were making were amateurish and culturally insensitive. He threw a hissy fit and said he was going home.”