Ugly Betty Recap 204: “Grin and Bear It”

Wili: Interesting fact. Drop a penny and a blond receptionist from the 28^th floor and they both hit the sidewalk at the same time. I believe they call it terminal velocity.
Amanda (petrified): I think this is a good time to point out that I am not a real blond.

Amanda, fearful for her life, assures Wili she’ll keep her secret. But then she realizes that since Wili knew Fey back then, she might have information about her father and begs her for information. Wili, who really isn’t all heartless, especially with anyone who might be able to return the favor someday, tells Amanda about one night in 1981. And we get this fantastic flashback sequence set to Blondie’s “Heart of Glass,” with this totally cool effect where all these magazine photos of the Studio 54 crowd pop up and become all three dimensional and animated, like looking at “The Children’s Book of Coked Up Poseurs and Eurotrash.”

We see “Wanda” looking for Fey, and finding her doing the nasty with some dude with a Tweety Bird tattoo on his ass. So you can tell Amanda’s dad was a real class act. Unfortunately, Wili only saw the ass and never found out the name of the guy attached to it.

Wili remembers that when Fey first started “puking up her breakfast,” she was thrilled, until she realized she was pregnant. So she swore Wanda to secrecy and helped pay for her transformation from drab to fab.

After Amanda leaves, Wili, remembering how she put her “blood, sweat, and old nose” into helping build Mode, swears that if she can’t run it, no on else can.

The Stuffy Offices of the New York Review. Which couldn’t be more clearly modeled on the New Yorker if they had a giant cartoon of a lawyer and a dog sitting in a bar with an incomprehensible caption underneath it.

This stodgy, suspendered editor is surprised Betty doesn’t want them to publish her article, but Betty, who, as Paquito well knows is getting to be more of an accomplished liar by the minute, says since she works for Mode, they have to get the first chance at running it. On the way out, he brings up the baby mentioned in the article and, looking at her stomach, says, “You’re carrying low.” I’ve seen plus size women on the subway go crazy when guys offer up their seats, so it really is impressive how well Betty keeps her cool with this guy.

Back at Mode, Wili surprises Daniel by saying she supports his decision not to sign on with American Attire. “Whether you like it or not,” she says, “we’re about to become family. And family sticks together.” Daniel goes off to tell The Head to buzz off, while Wili watches him with this evil look in her eye that lets you know she’s totally up to something.

Meanwhile, Betty gets back to her desk to find a Martha Plimpton look-alike at her desk. She says she and Betty have a lot in common, and lifts up her hair to reveal this hideous mangled ear. Either she’s the bear victim or she got a really bad piercing at that shady place behind the mall. It ain’t pretty, and, even though clearly the wronged party here, she is one hostile bitch. “First I was victimized by a bear, then by you,” she snits, threatening a lawsuit.

Daniel comes out and intercedes, telling her it was his mix-up and that they’ll pay her double the fee for the article. She perks up at this, and then figures she can always come up with another piece for the Review, especially since she’ll be diving soon in Australia where with any luck she and her unborn child might be eaten alive. I don’t know, the bears already rejected her, what makes her think she’ll be any more palatable to sharks?

Afterward, Daniel starts to really lay into Betty about this, but she explains she did it because he didn’t like her story. He tells her that what really matters isn’t what he thinks about her story but what she does. For a dim bulb, he often manages to come through with some decent advice.

Bizarro alternative universe Casa Suarez. Loud music is playing. Henry knocks and, getting no response, opens the door to find … AAHHH! MY EYES! It’s Justin, making out with some tweener tramp! In the words of The Comeback’s immortal if underrated Valerie Cherish: “I don't want to see that.”