Ugly Betty Episode 205 Recap: “A League of Their Own”

The old people carry on about death and illness and writing angry letters to the cereal company because there aren’t in fact two scoops of raisins in the box. It’s refreshing for once to see grannies on TV who aren’t obsessed with sex or performing rap songs. In fact, the way they’re acting totally fits with what I’ve seen from my own grandmothers, who love nothing better than going through old photo albums pointing out who’s “gone” and visiting the family cemetery plot to show where everyone is going to fit.

Back at the photo shoot, Cliff explains his whole concept for the spread is ripped off from Rear Window. Personally, I don’t remember a male underwear model in that movie, but if it was Jimmy Stewart who showed up in boxer briefs, I may have purposely repressed the memory. At least I’ve seen Rear Window, unlike Marc. And we’re still letting him be gay? Shouldn’t the membership office be revoking that card?

Marc hasn’t seen Psycho either but says he “works for one.” Heh. It’s nice to see that Marc doesn’t harbor any illusions about Wili and, like any assistant, is only too happy to bitch about his boss when she’s out of hearing. Cliff invites him to see a screening of Psycho that night at the Film Forum, and maybe meet up for a drink beforehand.

After Cliff goes back to work, Amanda comes in completely out of breath.

Marc: What is it girl? Someone fell down a well?
Amanda: Betty. (panting panting) Internet dating. (panting panting) Must mock.

Marc explains he needs to stick around because he’s planning to ask out “hot pants,” the underwear model who we now learn has the not-exactly-sexy name of Gus. Poor Cliff! He’ll be crushed! Hobbits don’t handle rejection well. He’ll just follow Marc quietly from behind, gazing at him with soulful puppy eyes until he’s attacked by a giant spider.

Maybe it won’t be an issue, though, because Amanda, like me, is pretty skeptical about Marc’s chances with hot buns.

Amanda: You’re asking him out? Maybe I’ll stay here and mock you.
Marc: What? You think he’s out of my league? He’s a 9. I’m an 8.
Amanda: He’s a 10. You’re a 6.
Marc: You’re a bitch. I’m a 7.

Me? I’m a Dance 10, Looks 3.

Conference Room a la Mode. Wili, Daniel, and Alexis discuss ways to cheapen up the magazine, including printing it on rice paper with soy ink. Are they putting together a magazine or a bento box?

Daniel and Alexis argue over whose fault it is the magazine is in such trouble. “It’s both your faults,” Wili pipes in. Nobody said she wasn’t helpful.

Cut to Betty’s desk. Kenny a.k.a. Henry’s obnoxious cube mate from last week a.k.a. Harold of “and Kumar” fame comes in looking to get “Daniel’s tag” on a form. Even though he’s from Greenwich Connecticut, he acts all street, informing Betty “it’s the south side” of Greenwich. He says Betty “did a number on my boy Henry not even porn and malt liquor can heal.”

After he leaves, Christina says she can never understand a word he says. That’s rich coming from her. Talk about the haggis-eater calling the phony-homey incomprehensible.

Betty is excited that her Internet profile already has a bunch of responses from guys who also love tacos, churros, and tortillas. Then she realizes they’re all from Amanda. So what? I’ll bet Amanda would be a fantastic first date. We know she puts out.

But there’s also a real response, from NiceGuy47, who asks if she can “spare time” to go bowling. Betty sends her response, but Christina points out she accidentally typed “I love blowing” and suggests she resend it. Why? With that message, it’s pretty much 100% guaranteed he’ll show up.

Cut to a scene from How to Make a Dead American Husband Quilt. It turns out the coven of old ladies are just like the clique in Mean Girls and hazing Hilda. They make fun of her for being “an optimist” and making plans for tomorrow. This leads to a cheery conversation about the best places to die. None of them see Justin stealing the car keys.

Back at Mode. Daniel is showing Betty the cheap new Mode which, frankly, now looks like a magazine you might actually enjoy reading.

Betty thinks Daniel should just ask Bradford for money to help the magazine. Daniel responds: “You met my family. My mother was accused of murder. And she’s the nice one.”