Ugly Betty Episode 206 Recap: “Something Wicked This Way Comes”

Wili stomps in bellowing and it’s clear that, with her wedding fast approaching, she’s become Bridezilla. Actually, she’s so terrifying, she’s more like Bride of Bridezilla. During that time of the month.

Just back from a fitting, Wili’s upset her dress makes her “look like a white silk sharpei.” She’d better hope Halston doesn’t try to mount her. Apparently, she’s been starving herself even more than usual but overshot her target weight. Marc then watches in horror as she ingests – for the first time in her life, I’m sure – actual carbohydrates in an effort to gain back six pounds by the wedding.

Then she starts sniffing, and it’s not the stink of vanilla and sandalwood candles she notices. “I smell fear,” she says to Marc. “What did you do?”

Marc is forced to tell her about Nico, who said she can’t come to the wedding because her pet monkey bit her and she’s been quarantined. I have a friend who says the lamest excuse you could ever give someone is saying you’ve got to stay home to watch Saturday Night Live. But I think this monkey thing might have that beat.

Cut to Henry and Betty performing in a little play for the benefit of their co-workers that might be called “Isn’t It Not Romantic,” in which they make a big show of being merely colleagues barely aware of each other’s existence.

Then Betty schedules an important meeting with him under her desk, where they proceed to make goo-goo eyes and do other nauseating couple-y things. Betty says Christina will cover for her that night, so they can finally go on their date to see Wicked, after which they can go back to his place and finally get wicked.

They pop up for air to find a disapproving Daniel waiting and glaring. Cowardly Henry runs away, but Betty assures Daniel there is nothing going on.

Daniel: If you were dating him again, I’d have to seriously think about getting rid of him.
Betty: Murder?!
Daniel: No! I hate that it’s so easy to go there with my family.

But he says he would fire him, because he doesn’t want to see Betty get her heart broken. Betty assures him there’s nothing to worry about.

Back at Mode reception, Marc is talking to Amanda when he sees the Hobbit approaching, looking as adorably huggable as ever. Desperate to distract Amanda, Marc hurls a Prada shoe down the hall that she scurries after.

Cliff says he misses Marc and wants to make plans for dinner. But he’s tired of always staying in, so he’s made a reservation at Craft. Terrible idea! What if chef Colicchio comes over and forces them to do some sort of Quickfire Relationship Challenge (“You have five minutes to consummate your relationship using all the items on this table”) or grills them about whether or not bears are still into him?

Meanwhile, Marc does everything he can to usher Cliff out of the building short of tasering him. Sigh. I knew we were going to have all sorts of shenanigans about Marc being embarrassed about Cliff – he even pulls away from a kiss saying the fashion world is “very homophobic,” and if Cliff believes that, I’ve got a ring to sell him that can make you invisible – but I didn’t think it would be this painful.

I was really hoping they’d avoid the obvious and do something more surprising, like have Cliff be the one ashamed of Marc. Because really, of the two, Cliff is the one with many more appealing boyfriend qualities, like the ability to realize there’s actually someone else in the relationship besides himself.