Ugly Betty Episode 206 Recap: “Something Wicked This Way Comes”

And it’s okay for boys to play with dolls just as long as it’s in preparation for parenthood and not because they enjoy changing their outfits. And, most importantly, it’s okay to be a bitchy little diva because, while there’s a slim chance you’ll be eaten by tigers, you’ll otherwise get whatever you want.

Daniel shares the good news that Amanda got them tickets right next to Betty’s, so the two happy couples can sit side by side all night! “You two better behave,” he jokes, as Rico takes her hand and they enter the theater.

Cut to one of several numbers from Wicked. It’s Glinda and Elphaba singing “Popular.” And Betty is mouthing along with the lyrics, so it’s pretty clear she knows the show inside and out, which is not surprising given that a) she lives with Justin, and b) the show is basically a musical version of her own life.

Everyone in the audience is enjoying it, including this kind-of-cute pit conductor who I’m totally baffled by. I’d think that after night after night of playing this music over and over, he’d be ready to stab himself in the eye with his baton. Instead, he’s happily watching the action and grinning like an idiot.

The only one not enjoying the show is sour little Atalanta, who glares at poor Henry. Betty, sitting a few rows behind, notices this, and initiates this bit of flirting by text message where they take turns sneezing and coughing to signal their affection for one another. This kicks off the gag reflex in both Rico and myself.

Meanwhile, Rico points out to Betty how Daniel is making all sorts of moves on That Girl! Betty whispers to Daniel that he’s above having to do that kind of thing to get business. Everyone else in the audience must be non-English speaking tourists, because nobody seems to mind all this talk going on, other than Rico who loudly goes “Shhhh.” He’s starting to grow on me.

Meanwhile, back at Mode, Wili is eating some form of animal carcass, like an actual Henry the VIIIth sort of mutton leg, and yelling at Marc about wedding plans. She’s so focused on wolfing down food that when Cliff shows up bearing Craft take-out, she barely acknowledges him and takes all the delivery bags.

Marc tells Cliff he really can’t take a dinner break, because “Wili treats all white people like slaves. Something about payback.” Just then, Amanda shows up holding a magazine.

Amanda: Oh, that Kate Moss is hot. I would so go girl for her.
Cliff: Hey, I shot those. And if I were a girl, I’d do her too.

Cliff insists Marc introduce them, but gets justifiably pissed when Marc calls him his “friend,” like he’s morphed into a mother who claims she’s fine with having a gay son but can’t quite bring herself to say the words. So Cliff sets Amanda straight, saying he’s actually Marc’s boyfriend … or at least, he was, until Marc started acting like such an ass.

Cliff: Good-bye Marc. You’re pathetic … I have too much self respect to put up with this. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home to binge on pasta.

Mmmm. Pasta. Be right back … Ah, that’s better. Where was I?