Ugly Betty Episode 207 Recap: “A Nice Day for a Posh Wedding”

Henry parks himself at Betty’s desk and picks up a Wicked mug. (Hey, ABC, don’t you think it’s enough already with the Wicked plugs? Like haven’t your gambling debts to Stephen Schwartz been paid off yet?)

He also looks at pictures on her screensaver depicting her love of Papi and her inevitable lifetime of regret if she misses his citizenship ceremony.

Meanwhile, Daniel grills Betty about whether or not she’s heard anything about Wili and Dwayne. She denies all knowledge and looks guilty as hell, but he’s too excited to notice, since he now plans to go to the wedding and confront Dwayne in person.

Betty: Good idea. That guy seems like a big dummy. The other day, he said something was a “mute” point.
Daniel: That was me. Moot. Mute. I get it now.

Meanwhile, Christina confronts McHubby about the syringe. Good news! He’s not a drug addict! He’s just got a fatal form of liver disease. Great, just what this show needs, another dead husband. But McHubby can be cured if he gets $100,000 for some experimental procedure, and Christina promises to get him the money. Can she really be that gullible? If she is, I have a few chain e-mails to send her way.

Cut to a montage of Central Park, still dazzlingly green even though it’s November. Maybe the Posh fairy worked her magic there too. This is all set to the tinny, mind-numbing opening chords of “Ebony and Ivory,” a song that, if the concept of “irritating” ever got its own soundtrack, would be a shoo-in for the first track.

We’re at some sort of pre-ceremony reception in a courtyard of the church. Wili has wisely planned on getting her guests all good and toasted beforehand, so they won’t notice what a ridiculous sham of a betrothal they’re witnessing.

Amanda’s there, but I think she’s forgotten to put on her dress since she’s just wearing a slip and some old-lady beads. She runs into Marc who is anxiously awaiting Cliff’s entrance.

Amanda: Don’t worry. Your wide-load lover will be here in a minute.
Marc: No jokes! I’m freaking out. I’m debuting him today as my boyfriend, and I have no idea what’s going to walk through those doors.
Amanda: Sweetie, relax. He can’t fit through those doors.

Cliff walks in and they both gasp at how hot he looks, all clean-shaven, with a stylish new haircut, wearing an elegant dark suit …

… and it totally pisses me off. You mean to tell me there was a makeover and we didn’t even get to see a montage?! We’re supposed to see him trying on hats, and coming out of the changing room in various goofy outfits, and spinning around in the salon chair with different color hair, all set to the tune of Diana Ross singing “I’m Coming Out.” Everybody knows this is the only way you can do a makeover!