Ugly Betty Episode 208 Recap: "I See Me, I.C.U."

Claire explains that before she leaves the country, she needs reassurance that her children are being taken care of and that Bradford didn’t change his will to leave everything to Wili. So she’d like Betty to break into Bradford’s office and find the will, just the kind of morally grayish behavior Betty’s been hoping to stop. But Claire pleads with her …

Claire: You’re my only hope.

Nobody can resist the Princess Leia/Obi-Wan plea! So Betty is forced to agree to help, adding that she’s really doing it for Daniel, since she feels she owes him. For what, exactly? As far as I can tell, the best thing he ever did was firing her so she’d never have to get wrapped up in this crazy Meade family drama ever again. You’d think she’d start enjoying those unemployment benefits.

Cut to Marc and Wili cruising through the city in a cushy limo. Marc tries to reassure her that it was still a beautiful wedding. I’m guessing the reception was probably a bit of a bummer, but at least no one had to sit through the newlyweds’ first dance to “Ebony and Ivory.” I’m also wondering if Wili will figure out a way to keep all the gifts. But she’s got other worries on her mind …

Wili: Now thanks to his inconvenient collapse, my future’s in limbo.
Marc: And I know you don’t like the limbo. Or the Electric Slide. Or any forced party dancing.

What about the Horah? Everybody loves the Horah!

Wili’s concerned about where she stands in Bradford’s will and is especially worried he left everything to charity. Hearing this, Marc offers to “find this Charity person and kill her.” And if she’s the same one who’s been calling me during PBS pledge drives, I hope he succeeds.

Back at Mode, Betty tries to get past reception, but L’Amanda says that since she’s no longer an employee, she can’t let her back in. Maybe she should try saying she’s opening a sandwich kiosk downstairs and wants to post flyers – that usually seems to do the trick.

There’s a bit of slapsticky physical “comedy” here as Betty tries to get past L’Amanda but ultimately cowers away. This has the unintended benefit of making the scenes of Bradford slowly dying in the hospital seem uproarious in comparison.

Cut to the hospital waiting room. Daniel is taking out a lifetime of unresolved Oedipal issues on an innocent vending machine. Amanda comes over and does her Fonzie imitation, lightly hitting the machine to procure Daniel his snack.

When she hears Daniel talk about how he never got a chance to tell his father he loves him, she puts a hand on his and assures him it’s still not too late. I kept waiting for the punch line in this scene but it just never came. This is shaping up to be a total downer of an episode.

I’m also baffled at what Amanda’s even doing at the hospital at this point. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s hoping to bag herself a McDreamy.

Back to more L’Amanda. And with L’Amanda there’s more not to love. Henry shows up to try to distract L’Amanda so Betty can sneak by. Christopher Gorham pretty much saves this entire episode with his hilarious “gangsta geek” routine in these scenes.

L’Amanda: Hey cutie pie. You just missed your girlfriend.
Henry: Girlfriend?! I don’t know how many times I have to tell that girl that is not the way I roll.
L’Amanda: Oh really?
Henry: Oh, no. I’m sweet like sugar, soft like suede, but unlike a piano, I never get played.
L’Amanda: Listen, honey. I will play you like Stevie Wonder on a baby grand … Oooh, Sugarstick, where you been all my life?
Henry: Um, math camp?

Casa Suarez. Papi hears a noise upstairs and goes to investigate. Inside Betty’s room, he’s surprised to find Yoga, who claims to be from the cable company, leading Claire to come out of hiding and berate her for the lame cover story.

The two of them start squabbling like an old married couple, before Claire explains to Papi that they’re waiting there while Betty does a favor for Daniel. Surprised to hear this, Papi starts to tell her about the bad blood between Betty and Daniel. He doesn’t get to finish, though, because they hear Hilda coming up the stairs. Papi orders them to hide again. I really wish those two could finally get out of the closet.

Hilda comes in to find her father lounging on her sister’s bed while nobody else is home. She asks him what he’s doing. There’s really no answer to that question that could not sound creepy.