Ugly Betty Episode 209 Recap: “Giving Up the Ghost”

In the middle of a late-night empanada binge-fest, Betty goes to the fridge for milk and finds Bradford Meade’s head on a platter. Yuck. Looks like Papi made meadeloaf for dinner again.

Betty: Mr. Meade! You’re dead and in my refrigerator.
Bradford’s Head: A box of baking soda wouldn’t hurt in here.

Or you could just make sure to throw out any decomposing flesh before the expiration date.

Betty shuts the fridge door and turns around, only to find Bradford standing behind her dressed like he’s going cruising. And not as in going undercover to catch a killer in New York’s seedy S&M underworld. More like getting ready to play canasta on the Lido deck before the midnight buffet.

Bradford explains, for the benefit of less swift viewers out there, that he isn’t a real ghost. He’s actually a subconscious manifestation of Betty’s guilt. And if you’re wondering what she’s got to feel so guilty about, subconscious-manifestation Bradford reminds her she made a deathbed promise to look out for Daniel and then went ahead and quit. Betty, for the gazillionth time in the past two episodes, says she can’t go back to Mode since it changed her too much. But she promises to be there for Daniel “as a friend.”

If they’d broken up and she used that “always be there for you as a friend” line, we’d all know it really meant “I never want to see you again and am saying this just to get out of this conversation without any tears and/or violence.” But in this case, I think she might be sincere.

By the way, the explanation for why she’s chosen to imagine Bradford in “island casual” is because, in life, things were always so formal between them. I’m just grateful she put clothes on him.

The next morning, Justin carries in a box of Christmas ornaments in preparation for the Suarez family tree trimming. You’ve got to be kidding me with this. A @#$%ing Christmas episode already? When even now I’m still digesting turkey and sweet potatoes with mini-marshmallow topping? This is just the latest evidence of how the holidays are kicking off earlier and earlier, like they were even stringing up Christmas lights outside my office the week before Halloween this year. I have a friend who says this trend, like many horrible things in life, can be blamed on the musical Mame, which planted the heinous idea that “we need a little Christmas right this very minute.”

Justin starts pulling out nativity figurines …

Justin: Mary, what happened to your hair?

That line is the “Howdy, neighbor” of Chelsea.