We open on Daniel and Alexis sitting stiffly side-by-side on these funky chairs, like they’re contestants on The Dating Game waiting to be asked what three items they’d take on a picnic with eligible bachelor #1.

A lawyer has brought them together to watch a video made for them by their late father. As it starts, we see Bradford sitting in front of a fireplace, like he’s about to kick off a new Masterpiece Theater. For “As I Lay Dying.”

Bradford says he wants to make it clear who he wants to run the company just in case he, oh, collapses at his own wedding or something. And that person is …

… but before he says a name, he gets all worried about the camera, asking, “Is this thing on?” Apparently, like all people over the age of 60, Bradford is completely clueless when it comes to anything remotely gadgety. Just like my mother who keeps asking me to “go into the Internet and ask it for directions.”

Bradford goes on to say that running a company requires certain qualities. Like the ability to smell blood in the water and a killer instinct. Which I’m guessing means he’s already floated an offer to Hannibal Lecter and they’re just hammering out the benefits package. Actually, the person he wants is …

… and then Betty comes in and knocks over the camera. She helps him set it up again, and he once again tries to name his successor …

Bradford: It is my desire that one of you become the president and chief fiduciary officer of Meade Publications. So I hope you’ll both understand when I tell you that I choose my … is this thing even on?

Thinking he’s turning the camera back on, he gets up and instead turns it off for good. This leads the Wonder Twins to argue over which of them he was going to name. Alexis suggests they talk about it with their mother to see if she has any idea. Until then, they agree that neither of them should sit at Bradford’s desk.

Cut to Betty and Daniel hurriedly pushing Bradford’s chair down the hall. Daniel wants Betty to guard it and make sure Alexis doesn’t try to squat her ass down in some bizarre form of office coup. Alexis sees what they’re up to and chases after them. Before she can catch up, Daniel sits in the chair, and Alexis dives on top of him.

Daniel: Why are you so strong? Did they give you super-strength when they installed your vagina?

That would be an excellent origin story for a superhero. Sort of like Wonder Woman and her Magic Bracelets. Except this would be Alexis and her Magic Box.

Afterwards, Henry approaches Christina and Betty to hand them their paychecks. I guess direct deposit is just too high-tech a concept at Mode, which only makes sense given their CEO can’t even figure out how to work an on/off switch. Henry tells Betty he’s got a big surprise for their date ...

Henry: Wear socks. Because they’re gonna get knocked off.

Not to mention that it’s about 20 degrees outside. Plus you live in New York, so you never know what form of animal life or fecal matter might brush against your ankle.

After he leaves, Christina talks about how nice Henry’s surprise sounds, given that the last surprise she had on a date involved an angry wife knocking on a motel room door. Betty tells Christina how every Saturday night, she and Henry stay in and make an ice cream sundae bar. I’m greatly impressed by this. It’s one thing to make a plain old sundae, but to do the whole sundae bar takes some serious ambition. Yet another reason to love Henry.