Ugly Betty Episode 210 Recap: “Bananas for Betty”

Christina invites Betty and Henry to double-date to the premiere of 27 Dresses. Ooooh, a new chick flick that stars Katherine Heigl! I so want to see that! Take me, Christina, take me! But then Christina and Betty start going on and on about the many reasons to see 27 Dresses, and I realize this is just another infomercial fiendishly implanted mid-Betty. And this has the direct effect of making me not want to see 27 Dresses ever. Hear that, ABC suits? Not exactly the effect you were hoping for, is it you greedy bastards?

In fact, I’m so disgusted by this whole practice that from now on, I’m going to boycott everything mentioned on this show that stinks of product placement. Unless, of course, it’s related to alcohol or skin care.

Betty turns down the premiere offer, saying that since she and Henry only have about 17 weeks left together, she wants to spend time alone with him. I guess that means threesomes are off the table.

Cut to a mock-up cover for Slater. And thanks to the wonders of TiVO, we can freeze on it and snark it apart in detail. The problem isn’t the photo of Wili, which is as fierce looking and glamorous as you’d expect. But the logo looks like something for a goth medal band, and the tag line – “The Fashion & Style Magazine” – couldn’t be any more boring. Maybe they should take a cue from AfterElton.com and go for something like “Slater … because superficiality matters.” Plus the coverlines are all too generic. Every magazine story these days has to start with a number. 10 ideas for blah blah blah. 101 ways to blah blah blah orgasm.

Wili hates the cover too. She screams at her miserable peons, gathered around what appears to be her kitchen table, that the photo was supposed to make her look five years younger than the age she tells everyone she is.

When the peons just sit there pouting and seething, Wili asks Marc what the problem is. He explains that no one minds the abuse, but they thought they were actually going to be paid for it. Wili tells the peons not to worry; she’s meeting with their investors and will soon have the money to pay them. Then Slater will be a go.

Cut to Amanda busy at work, meaning she’s busily doing her nails. Deputy Leo comes up and asks for a paperclip.

Amanda: Calm down. You’re hysterical! You’re practically screaming like a woman.
Deputy Leo: Why are you even in charge of anything? There’s like a thousand sticks of glitter glue and no paper clips.
Amanda: You’re gay, right?
D.L.: Only when it comes to you.

So he’s gay for Amanda. I wonder if that’s sort of like being gay for Jamie.

She explains to him that he’s not the only one who needs paperclips, revealing this long chain she’s made that culminates in a paperclip doggie sweater for Halston. D.L. gripes that this is a misuse of company property, and she gestures at his head, saying it’s a “misuse of hair gel … how much are you wearing, anyway?” I’d also point out that he’s wearing way too much lipstick. Are the makeup people on strike now too?