Ugly Betty Episode 210 Recap: “Bananas for Betty”

Cut to Henry using his trusty Time-Life books to guide him through the sink installation. This leads to all manner of macho posturing from Rico, who launches into all this plumber-babble that makes no sense to me, although my ears perk up at the mention of something to do with Henry’s nuts.

Henry insists he knows what he’s doing, just as Betty turns on the water and succeeds in drenching Henry to the skin. As his wet shirt clings to his body, we get an opportunity (one of many this episode) to admire Henry’s stunning upper-body physique, something that makes any further comparison to Rico on any level pretty useless as far as I’m concerned. Henry, you had me at pecs.

Cut to Fashion Buzz with Alec Mapa. He reports on how Wilhelmina spent the day clothing the homeless and comforting the sick, leading to a clip of her playing the guitar to sick children and singing “Give God Your Glory, Glory.” Sadly, no IV’s are popped out like in Airplane. But the scene does remind me that Vanessa Williams has a killer voice. I’m so looking forward to that musical episode that now might never happen.

Marc answers the phone and tells Wili it’s “The Investors.” I love how “The Investors” don’t actually have names, like they’re characters in a children’s play who enter right after “The Butcher” and “The Baker.” Wili gets on the phone and acts all bashful about the attention she’s been getting for her newfound generosity.

Cut to the Big House for Bad Girls. Claire is on a payphone, wearing prison coveralls with her hand in her pocket. She is now officially the butchest person on this show. She tells Daniel and Alexis that she’s doing fine in jail, having gained some cache for being an escapee.

Claire (cheerfully waving to a fellow inmate): The bulls are giving me a wider berth.

She says she’s not surprised that Bradford screwed up the video, given the one time he put a camera in their bedroom and only got shots of a “moaning lamp.” I don’t know how her children feel, but personally, that’s much more than I needed to know.

When the kids start in on the bickering, Claire barks that this is not like when they were kids fighting over their treehouse. This is a billion dollar company, and if they can’t work it out, she’s going to send some inmate named “Hatchet” after them. Eh. If Hatchet is anything like Yoga, the worst she’ll do is wear inappropriate clothing and hit on Oprah.

After she hangs up, the kids decide it is, in fact, just like the treehouse dilemma and should be solved the same way. I’m hoping this means through some inventive game of spin the bottle with their neighbors, but it’s just a boring old paintball battle. It’s like they grew up in an even gayer Malcolm in the Middle.