Ugly Betty Episode 210 Recap: “Bananas for Betty”

Betty watches with clear love in her eyes, and the crowd bursts into applause. Henry comes to her and apologizes for being a jerk, again saying he’ll never be like Rico. But Betty stops him and says she doesn’t want him to be like Rico. She just wants to be with him.

Rico sadly watches the two of them together, and Hilda sadly watches Rico watching them.

Mode. Paintball. Daniel and Alexis stalk each other, Spy vs. Spy-style. But then Alexis twists her ankle and falls to the ground. Rather than shooting her, Daniel comes over to comfort her. It doesn’t matter who Bradford wanted to run the company, he says. They can run it together.

He pulls her to her feet and they hug. Then she grabs his gun and shoots him. I guess when they did the vagina installation, they removed her heart.

Back at Henry’s Saturday Night Sundae Bar, we see Betty and Henry slow dancing in his apartment. Betty says that next Saturday, she’ll make the ice cream. And she’ll call it “Hazelnuts for Henry.” There we go with Henry’s nuts again.

It’s a romantic, touching moment utterly ruined by Henry then mentioning them going to see 27 Dresses. This was about when I started wondering if this episode was written after the writers had gone on strike.

Back at Casa Suarez, a drunken Rico and Hilda stumble home. I’m thinking all signs point to a merger, but Hilda puts a quick stop to it. She says she had a great time, but it’s clear that she isn’t the Suarez sister Rico really likes.

Cut to the hospital, where Alec Mapa and the Fashion Buzz crew are prepping to film the heart-felt forgiving. Wili thanks Betty White for doing this and calls her a “class act.” Betty says she just doesn’t want to be a part of the ugliness in the world. Then she looks at herself in a mirror.

Betty White: Oh terrific. I’m going on TV with whore eyes.

When she says that line, I remember that one of the great things about Betty White is how there’s always an edge under all the sweetness. Don’t believe me? Then check out the horror-comedy dud Lake Placid, which shows her feeding an entire cow to an enormous killer crocodile. That’s a sight you won’t soon forget.

The broadcast starts, with Alec Mapa describing Betty White’s many achievements, noting she’s a “friend to gays everywhere … I love you!” Hearing this, Marc pipes up that he loves her too.

When Wilhelmina leans across Betty’s bed to grab the mike, Betty starts howling in pain, screaming that Wili is going after her other hand. She grabs the mike and wails, wondering why Wili hates her so much and begging Alec Mapa to “get that monster away.”

Wili demands they turn off the cameras, then asks Betty if she’s lost her mind. Betty smiles sweetly and says she’s been getting calls from Regis and The View; as long as this feud is getting her publicity, she’s going to keep milking it, especially since all her Golden Girl money went into the nickel slots.

Then the cameras start to roll again, and she goes right back to screaming in fear, insisting Wili has a knife pointed at her.