"United States of Tara " (2.05): "Hey Courtney! Moosh Just Isn't That Into You!"

This week on United States of Tara Marshall, our hero starts to dicover that if you sleep with a girl to help figure out you're gay, there is usually a price to be paid!

We open with Marshall and Kate watching Kate's stupid Princess Valhalla Hawkwind video that supposedly has 250,000 views. Yeah, sure. While I can believe that, say, NBC might actually put this on the air as a new series, I find it hard to believe that folks on YouTube would bother watching it as they are mostly smarter than NBC executives.

Anywho, as Moosh and Kate watch, Kate tries to justify her participate by spouting feminist theory she hasn't a prayer of ever understanding. It's like watching a Tea Party member discuss the U.S. Constitution or health care. But Brie Larson as Kate is hilarious as she tries to convince Marshall she knows what she's talking about. 

Finally Kate gives up on that and changes the subject. "Tell me true, Moosh. Are you or are you not a homo?"

None of that political correctness for Kate! Marshall responds with "That term is a little onerous. But yes, it's official."

Of course, Kate has no idea what the word "onerous" means, but nevermind. Kate cuts to the chase and advises Marshall to dump Courtney. If only it were so easy, Kate.

Cut to Charmaine, Marshall and Kate having pancakes after Max has been arrested for punching out a guy in one of the show's many boring subplots. Kate and Marshall are laughing about Mrs. Butterworth, but Charmaine thinks they should be worried about their dad who is in jail "probably getting things put up his booty right now." Charmaine, remembering Marshall is officially gay, amends this by saying, "Sorry, Marshall. I know that man sex is great when it's consensual."

But it turns out Kate and Marshall are laughing because their life is so depressing right now. What with their crazy mom, and now dad being hauled off in cuffs, and generally bizarro lives things aren't so great. Or as Kate puts it, "As a a family, we're completely f***ed.

It's actually a rather sad moment and one of the more believable ones so far this season.

Later, while Max waits in jail (with nothing up his booty) to be bailed out by Tara, who has wrecked her car and is now talking to her therapist alter that is channeling Barbra Streisand from The Prince of Tides, Marshall tries to call things off with Courtney. 

They are working on their zine which Courtney is proud of because it isn't typical. Says Courtney, "I love this, Marshie. I love how it doesn't scream pretentious high school zine. It's a unique animal. Like us."

I imagine Liza Minnelli once said something similar to David Gest.

Poor, poor Courtney. Not only does their zine scream pretentious in all capital letters, but Marshall has this to say about their "unique animal." "My sister thinks we should break up. Courtney, I just feel like I might need some, uh, space. You know? It's not about who you are. It's about where I am in my ..." 

But when Courtney starts to cry, Marshall says he's just kidding. Marshie, Marshie, Marshie!

Actually, I'm very sympathetic to Courtney in this situation. After all, Marshall is moving forward on to something new and exciting while Courtney is left behind feeling like a total loser. And I especially feel her pain about being willing to have a "unique" relationship with Marshall even if it really means a pretend relationship.

After all, how many of us gay boys in our younger days had dysfunctionl "relationships" with straight boys we secretly loved, and who probably knew how we felt, but let us hang around either to not hurt our feelings or because they liked the attention. And didn't it suck when they finally had enough of our mooning over them and gave us the boot? Like I said, I feel her pain. 

But for Marshall's sake, I just hope Courtney has never watched a little movie called Fatal Attraction.