"United States of Tara" Recap 307: Is Marshall Still in Love With Lionel? At Least One Person Thinks So.

Marshall backslides, Max rocks out and Tara will cut a bitch, in the latest episode of United States of Tara!

But first, we start with a quick side trip to the United Kingdom of Tara, which you can tell because of the wonky police car siren that every American show uses to signify something is taking place in England. We spy a man standing on a roof with a kite tail pinned to his shirt and a string tied around his waist.

It's Kite Boy, Dr. Hattar(r)as's former patient whose inspirational story convinced Tara to go back into therapy. Given what happens to Kite Boy after leaping from the roof in an attempt to fly, I'm going to guess that there hasn't been a lot of follow-up treatment.

Then we’re back to the States, where Marshall bemoans the state of his and Noah's film while Tara cooks everything in the house for breakfast. Says Marshall, "In my head, it's unique, nuanced, but when it comes out, it's like, a frog doing somersaults on a field, and you can't see the frog because he's too green and you can't hear him because the grass is too soft."

Which still sounds more original than the endless torrent of sequels, remakes and "re-imaginings" that have been coming out of Hollywood these last several years. I'll watch Somersaulting Frog over the Smurfs movie any day, Neil Patrick Harris notwithstanding.

Later on, Marshall and Noah are watching more home movies and have stumbled across one of Tara's alter tapes that she used to make back in Season One, in this instance Buck demonstrating how to, and I shudder even typing this, "dine on the vagine." And again, lady parts, so not in my wheelhouse, I have no basis to critique Buck's technique.

Marshall has a crisis of conscience about using footage of Tara in the film, not wanting to put her and her struggles on display for the entire country. It's a good sentiment and a noble protective instinct, but we are talking about a high school film festival entry here. It's not like anyone's actually going to see it.

Noah presses him on it, saying that the story is poignant, but Marshall rightly notes that they aren't making "a 70s mental illness docu-drama." Thank God, because that 2007 remake of Sybil was just awful. And really, with Jill Clayburgh dead, the 70s mental illness docu-drama genre is over.

Marshall re-thinks his concept, deciding it would be better to focus on "Max Gregson, the man who fell in love with that."

Marshall interviews Max, starting off with a softball question about why Max quit playing with his band, Beaverlamp. The interview quickly gets a lot tougher, culminating in Marshall's accusing Max of fathering him to ensure himself a way of sharing the burden of Tara's illness with another person. Max quietly, angrily explains that having Marshall was the best decision he'd ever made and that he'd make the same decision again in an instant, before ending the interview and walking off. Noah tries to comfort Marshall but Marshall orders him out, saying that he doesn't need a "caretaker."

Moosh later recounts the story to Lionel as they sit in Lionel's car, doing some of that "exes who remain friends" stuff that lesbians always seem to do so well and that I never understood. If someone's my ex it's because I don't like him and probably don't trust him and that makes him the last person I'd hang out with or turn to for advice, especially about my new boyfriend. But it's good having Lionel back whatever the reason.

Marshall wonders what's wrong with him and Lionel offers him a "real" answer and a "selfish" answer. The "real" answer: "You have intimacy issues. You're terrified of becoming your parents and those little sweater vests you wear are like your armor." Marshall brushes off the "real" answer with a sarcastic "Thank you, Doctor Phil" which is the proper response because Lionel has it almost completely wrong.

Marshall isn't afraid that he'll turn into his parents. He's afraid that he'll turn into their parent. He's had his head filled for god knows how long with "you're the glue" and other expectations that are simply too high for a teenage boy.

Marshall doesn't have "intimacy issues" (and man do I ever hate that stupid pat little phrase). He is understandably confused about the difference between caring and caretaking because he's grown up seeing the two roles so closely blended in his father's relationship with his mother. That's why he dismissed Noah as a "caretaker" earlier, because Marshall doesn't understand the difference between the two yet.